May 15, 2007

Y&R - Nick Newman Dies And The World Rolls It's Eyes

Or sobs uncontrollably. Whatevs.

Hey, if I wrote Y&R I wouldn't give Amelia Heinle dialogue either, so LML and I are on the same page there. And indulge me in a tired joke and superficiality but...

Now I'm a known Peter Bergman fan but no. No. Those scenes were overblown and dumb. And pointless, the heffa is alive. And I don't care.

And okay, let's do a wordless crying scene with Don Diamont. YEAH, OKAY, THAT'LL WORK. The guy can't convey emotions when someone is writing for him, what makes them think he can do it with just stage direction? Good lord, the bad decisions on this show just keep coming.

Someone on the Y&R thread at TWOP compared him to a Transformer and I concur.

"I have five fingers and one big tool, pick a violation."

Nikki sure did go through the stages of grief quickly. She's already blaming Victor. It's all so silly. Wouldn't it have been nice of Victor and Nikki to stop by the tackhouse, you know since it's ON THE SAME PROPERTY AS THEIR HOME.

I am so sick of this show's manipulation. Nick's been as dull as wallpaper and half as bright for about two years now, you expect me to be sad over his death? How about giving him a personality and a purpose first.

Clearly I am full of too much hatred and unforgiveable blackness to watch this show.

May 11, 2007

OLTL: Yo E-Money

Yo E-Money,

You don't mind me calling you E-Money, right? Right, I know you don't, I know how you roll when you're away from the cameras. I just wanted to say, you know, 'heeey.' And congratulations on the interview, and thanks for keeping it reals. I was thinking of you and Viki with Mother's Day coming up, and I know you've taken a lot of bullshit from trick-ass fools trying to blow up your spot in the last year. And we know what happens to bitches who try to blow up Viki's spot. Has anyone seen Pat Ashley in twenty years? I don't think so.

Anyway, Mother's Day and all, yada yada yada, and I'm sure you're probably pretty busy. But just so you know, the open offer stands for you to text me and Darn on your Sidekick so we can get together at the club and make them play Mystikal, and get ripped, and then go beat on the cast of Passions with bicycle chains. I know how you play. Bring Lee Patterson. I bet he likes to party.

Okay, Happy Mother's Day.



P.S. - EDITORIAL NOTE: Darn and I actually cannot beat up anyone, ever.

from Don't sue!

May 10, 2007

Y&R - Thursday - Live Blogging

I have not watched Y&R in a month so be kind.

12: 30:
Oh wow, Billy Warlock. Hey, Billy, how's it going? I like you but a 40 something year old man going by Billy is kinda sad, babe. Almost as sad as Nikki.

12: 33: Speaking of, somebody got a haircut. It's nice. The long hair was porn-ish. Hillary keeps it short and sweet. And not just cause she likes the kitty, no, because that's what grown-ups do.

Phyllis is on trial? What for now? The blackmail? That's dumb.

12: 36: Was Daniel looking at porn on a PUBLIC COMPUTER? Dumbass. Is that shit genetic? Dumb mother, dumb son. Don't get knocked up, Ugily.

Ugh, Daniel is a pig. What has happened to my Dily? Motherfucker.

12: 39: Doesn't the DA have like murders and gangrapes and shit to deal with? I'm sure the sexy, sexy blakmail of that hot stud Brad Carlton and that sexy bitch Sharon Newman is at the top of his fucking list.

Michael is so gay. I mean that in the best way, he's gay, fantastically gay. I don't even know what they're talking about, actually I do, I just don't care. Most of my focus is on Michael's facial expressions, they range from fabulously incredulous to splendidly smug. Now I ask, why does he has to be defending the Teflon red-head?

12: 43: Victoria looks all brokedown and ugly.

Oh, she had a miscarriage, that explains it.

Wow, I'm heartless. I don't care even a little bit. Though I think it's cruel to have a pregnant actress act out a miscarriage story.

12: 47:
Daniel: What? I'm nawt!
Lily: SO ARE!

Lord, this is boring. I wanted to do a whole dialogue but they're giving me nothing to work with!

12: 50: Amelia Heinle is awful. There's not much more to it.

12: 54: With the way the light is hitting Don Dismont's head it looks like he's wearing a yalmulke. Haha, I want Brad to wear a yarmulke in every scene. That's funny, right? That's funny.

12: 55:
Daniel: Lily!
Daniel: Okay, okay, this wouldn't be a problem if you gave me a bl--
Daniel: I'm sick of having sex in the dark covered head to toe in plastic!

1: 00: Haha, Joshua Morrow looks like a monkey. A hot, half human monkey. Like he's the ostricized monkey on the Planet of the Apes. Uh, the ostricized ape. "You don't fit in here, Josh! Not hairy enough!".

Okay, it's bad enough sleeping with a married woman but a pregnant married woman? Good going, Jeffrey Todd.

1: 16: Phyllis is forever trying to start shit. Okay, we get it, you're a baaaad girl. Whatever. Shut up, ho.

1: 17: Lily looks like a pterodactyl, no? Thanks, Dee!

1: 24: Who is this bland brunette mess? Oh, it's Victoria. Why is she even letting Brad touch her?

Oh, are Nick and Sharon gonna have elicit plane sex?

When did Nick become a fucking talk-to? You have a problem, bring it to effin' Nick Newman! Because he's so smart and full of good advice. Please. Dude can barely walk upright.

1: 27: Oh, that shit with Jack "I OWN JABOT!" Abbott has finally come out? Aaaaand it lands with a...thud.

May 1, 2007

Y&R - Announcement

Oh hai thur y'all, quick post, the blog is NOT dead. It's on...hiatus (I guess that's what you call not watching Y&R in 3 weeks). At least on my part.