OLTL - Jarn vs. Llanview

Jarn, coming atcha once again with our real time observations of today's One Life To Live. It's half as thrilling as it sounds! Read on!

Darn : Look at Natalie, obstructing justice for Pizzaface.

Jase : I call him Krang.

Darn : Why hasn't Melissa Archer moved on?

Jase : Todd, Todd. That's right, Bo, I have no emotions, I can no longer act, look at me.

Jase : This will be the first episode I have watched in like two months.

Darn : Rex has stupid hair.

Jase : Pad the pad the pad the show. Let's talk and talk in circles about obvious things.

Darn : Yeah, Rex, way to be a dumbass. I don't like Rex but he's more clever than this.

Darn : This is exactly how the ended their last scene and their tag yesterday.

Jase : "You picked up the murder weapon." "Did I?" "Well, did you pick it up?" "Did I pick up the murder weapon?" "Yes, did you, because if you did - " "Does that mean I'm in trouble?" "What do you think?" "Yes?" "Yes!" End of scene.

Darn : Round and round we goes.

Jase : Cole: Corbin Fisher model.

Jase : Time for another line about how Marty is just mad because of What Todd Did To Her In College.

Darn : Yep, she's such a grudge holder.

Jase : Another circular scene. "Did you do anything wrong?" "No, we didn't!"

Jase : "You did something totally wrong!" "Did we? No!"

Darn : They say so much yet absolutely nothing.

Jase : This is why I stopped watching, it's all static like this, it all sounds the same, you don't even have to listen.

Darn : I'm sorry but it bugs me that Marty is suddenly Latina.

Darn : Blair did it.

Jase : No.

Darn : Sure, why not?

Jase : I love how Antonio entered all Lionel Ritchie. "HELLO. IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FORRRR."

Darn : "Hi, I'm Paige, I'm COMPLETELY useless!"

Darn : I remember the good old days, when Assholio was the character I hated most on this show.

Jase : The abrupt edgy cut...that they now use at EVERY SINGLE COMMERCIAL BREAK.

Jase : You know it's bad when Antonio is becoming tolerable again.

Jase : Wait, let's predict Blair and Antonio's next scene. "Spencer...Spencer's dead?"

Darn : "Yes, he was murdered, Blair."

Jase : "Murdered? Oh my God!"

Darn : "I know you were unconscious but if there's anything you can tell us about what happened tonight..."

Jase : "And you...you think I...you think I know who...who did it?"

Darn : "We just need a timeline, an idea of what happened and we need to get it while it's still fresh in your mind."

Jase : "A timeline? A timeline of what happened?"

Darn : "Yes, we need you to help us figured out what happened, an idea of what occured earlier today."

Jase : "Of what happened?" Antonio: "Yes, Blair, do you know what happened?"

Jase : That's how you get dressed for work, ponytail.

Darn : Ponytail and tits out.

Jase : THERE YOU GO!

Jase : I told you there would be another line about Marty and Todd.

Darn : Paige reminds me of a retired porn star.

Jase : Haha, she does look like Ginger Lynn Allen.

Jase : Close, though, she WAS on Texas.

Jase : CIRCULAR DIALOGUE. "No, I am not kidding you."

Darn : I like how Trevor St. John just doesn't show up for work.

Jase : Seriously.

Jase : More Rex and Bo. "But you picked up the murder weapon!"

Darn : OMG, Bo and Rex are gonna have the same scene all day.

Jase : "So you picked up the murder weapon."

Darn : "You need a lawyer!" "I didn't do it!" "You need counsel!" "I didn't kill him!" "You need an attorney!" "I didn't kill Spencer!" "You need someone with a law degree!"

Jase : "I know you didn't kill Spencer Truman, but let's still have a long conversation about how you obviously did!"

Jase : What the FUCK is Marcie wearing.

Jase : Marcie, don't try to breastfeed that baby.

Darn : First of all, you have no milk.

Jase : Roxy's gay bordello.

Darn : Okay, that made me laugh.

Jase : Why do they still live here with their child.

Darn : Is this a hotel?

Darn : Who are they hiding John from?

Jase : It's Nigel and Roxy's "Bachelor Hotel" slash apartment building, Michael and Marcie and John and Natalie all live there.

Jase : It's like a fucking slum.

Darn : Why is Michael Easton still here, doing nothing?

Jase : I think John is a suspect in the Spencer blah blah.

Darn : Bachelor Hotel? Bath house?

Jase : Yeah, exactly.

Jase : It is the ugliest fucking set.

Jase : John loping up the stairs like a goddamn hunchback.

Jase : Marcie has lube on the dresser.

Darn : John, Elephant Man.

Jase : Haha, I'm Todd, no matter what's going on I am still going to grin and chuckle!

Jase : He has gone so off the rails. He treats EVERYTHING casual now.

Darn : BO AND REX, BRAND NEW MATERIAL!

Jase : Bo and Rex: Covering Each Other's Backs. With oil.

Jase : Was that a sentence?

Jase : THIS IS SO STUPID.

Jase : "We all know I didn't do it and it can quickly be obviously proven I did not, and I have no idea who did, but arrest me."

Jase : Detective Eighthead has spoken.

Darn : I swear, she's Margaret's sister.

Darn : SHE SAID DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

Jase : Oh God no, Spencer's jacket was doublebreasted.

Darn : All of these slams to black.

Jase : IT'S INTENSE AND EDGY.

Darn : OLTL is not Lost.

Jase : YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE KIDS LOVE THAT.

Darn : IT MAKES ME SO EXCIIIITED FOR THE NEXT SCENE!

Jase : OMFGZ I AM TXTING ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT THAT SCENE!!!

Darn : LOLZ!

Jase : I WANT TO BLINK BUT I AM AFRAID THE SHOW WILL COME BACK!

Jase : HELP ME DARNELL, HELP ME BLINK!

Jase : UNNH UNNH!

Darn : MOISTURIZE YOUR SITUATION!

Jase : WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT GAY?!

Darn : THAT'S NOT GAY, THAT DIDDY!

Jase : DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S IDENTITY THEFT, THEY STOLE CLAY'S IDENTITY AND THEN WENT LOOKING FOR MEN WITH HIS PICTURE!

Darn : Okay, maybe it's a little gay.

Darn : CLAY IS STRAIGHT, HIS DICK IS ALWAYS IN A VAGINA!

Darn : HE JUST DOESN'T ADVERTISE IT, HE HAS RESPECT FOR HIS WOMENS!

Jase : I BET IT'S IN ONE RIGHT NOW!

Jase : Oh, I love these Barilla ads.

Jase : OOOHHH OOOOOHHH PASTAAAA

Darn : AND I BET SHE'S IN XXXTASY!

Darn : XXXTASCY!

Jase : Nice.

Jase : Watch, I guarantee you, at the end of the show, Antonio will finally get around to asking Blair if she saw who killed Spencer.

Darn : And that'll be the tag.

Jase : STOOPID NATALIE, CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, HAHA STOOPID

Jase : I hate you, Higley.

Darn : Has anything happened today?

Darn : What is she looking at?

Jase : I don't even know. Fibers.

Darn : To keep him regular.

Jase : Michael is angry because Marcie isn't allowed to leave the apartment.

Jase : "Do you have any idea how bad this looks for you, Balsom?"

Darn : This scene has been going on forever.

Jase : "Please take me down to the station and hold me over, Bo."

Jase : "I know you mean well, Rex." "I am just a bad boy trying to be good."

Jase : He forgot to ask why he was holding those scissors again.

Jase : "Thanks for the information, Starr, time to grin again!"

Jase : Fucking Todd.

Jase : "It's a lark, this show is a lark, haha, good times, alright, seriously, seriously, I'm, I'm being real, yeah, heh, is, heh, is Blair okay?"

Darn : Todd: Gotta dance! Gooootta dance! Gotta daaaaaaance!

Darn : jazz hands!

Darn : Cause he's so fucking joyous all the time.

Jase : OMFG COLE SAID HE IS GLAD SPENCER IS DEAD!

Jase : THAT DEFINITELY WARRANTS A SHOCKING COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Darn : O M G SLAM CUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!

Jase : WILL MARTY TELL HIM NOT TO SAY IT AGAIN, AGAIN?

Jase : I CAN'T BREATHE! I CANT BR -- I

Darn : OH NOES WILL BO ARREST REX?!

Jase : ACK

Jase : NEED PAPER BAG

Jase : PAPER BAG

Jase : ASPHYXIATING

Jase : hlpm

Jase : HOCK

Jase : OKAY.

Darn : I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS OMG COLE IS SOOOO CUTE

Darn : I THINK HE REALLY IS HAPPY ABOUT SPENCER BEING DEAD BUT HE'S SO CUUUTE!

Jase : This episode has all the nailbiting tension of a Cosby Show family ruse on Theo.

Jase : All they need to do is bring in Clair to sew this shit up, it's done.

Darn : Oooh, can I play Cockroach?

Jase : Rex will NEVAH go to see Big Fun again.

Jase : Er, The Wreckage.

Jase : FOR Big Fun.

Jase : Michael, buy your family a goddamn house.

Jase : All your neighbors are clubhopping sodomites!

Jase : Well, I am a sodomite but I don't clubhop.

Darn : They're gonna gay your son.

Darn : He's gonna be gayed right in the gay.

Jase : "I won't ask you if you killed him, John, just assume you will, and talk about it in veiled terms that are not necessary if we are alone together."

Jase : "I agree, Mike, let's do it."

Jase : "I gotta go home...down the hall."

Darn : "It's all over." "Yeah, it's ALL over." "This will be different now." "Forever" "Definitely different forever." "Never the same." "Ever".

Jase : "But how will it ever be the same, John?"

Darn : What did Michael do exactly except get your Klingon ass home?

Jase : WHY would Paige ask this question?

Darn : WTF does Paige know about court?

Jase : Please, you established Blair was lucid at 2:05!

Darn : Didn't Paige say it was okay to ask questions earlier in theie scenes?

Jase : "Can I grin now?"

Darn : SERIOUSLY!

Jase : There Todd goes again. "Did he rape Blair, Paige? Ha!"

Darn : Only the cool cops wear their badges around their necks.

Jase : Repeat all the family connections, Rex, I forgot them.

Jase : THIS IS THE SAME DIALOGUE AGAIN!

Jase : OH FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Darn : Rex: I'm dirty, Bo. Make me clean. Make me feel goood, I wanna feel good, Bo.

Jase : BO YOU HAVE ASKED THIS EIGHT TIMES IN THE PAST TWENTY MINUTES!

Darn : 50 minutes of this show, the SAME FUCKING QUESTIONS AND RESPONSES.

Jase : "WHY WERE YOU HOLDING THOSE SCISSORS?!"

Jase : "I KNOW IT LOOKS BAD FOR ME BO!"

Jase : "IT LOOKS SO BAD FOR YOU!"

Darn : Why is Natalie allowed to hover over the body?

Jase : Eighthead will have to shoot that cop for failure.

Jase : Natalie hides the evidence inside her tits.

Darn : No, trainees don't show up announced because they would get kicked the fuck out.

Jase : "I always like to take matters into my own hands. I am Matter-Eater...Lass."

Jase : I predict that Bo will again ask Rex about what he was doing there with the scissors.

Jase : Rex answered him fifteen minutes ago.

Darn : I predict Rex will not explain himself and instead ask to be arrested.

Jase : I predict that Bo will throw up his hands and be forced to arrest Rex.

Jase : It's like we know the future.

Jase : What can we do with the burden of this godlike power?

Darn : I predict they will proceed to have violent yet consensual buttsex.

Darn : My visions are hazy.

Jase : Yes, that comes next week, you see, they spend the rest of the week asking each other if they're ready to do it.

Darn : Friday: Bo asks Rex if they should use a condom.

Jase : Monday: Rex is willing to be fucked raw by Bo's braut.

Darn : March: Rex isn't sure about the condom.

Jase : May: Bo penetrates Rex but pulls out at the first sign of pain.

Jase : September: Bo tries again.

Darn : June '08: Bo and Rex decide that two thrusts is plenty.

Jase : November: Blair remembers that she was in the room when Spencer died.

Jase : Todd comes off like he is on the chronic. I'm just saying.

Darn : December : Paige reminds Antonio that he can question Blair.

Jase : "Haha, it's funny, Starr!"

Jase : NO SHE SAID SHE DID NOT KNOW FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

Jase : IT WAS CLEAR BLAIR DID NOT KNOW AT 2:10.

Darn : Oh, god, we finally got an answer. It only took 60 minutes.

Jase : YES, WE KNOW YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM DOWN TO THE STATION!

Jase : YOU'VE ONLY SAID IT EIGHTEEN TIMES!

Darn : "I know that you know."

Jase : It's like Rain Man wrote the show.

Darn : THEY CAN HEAR US JASON!

Jase : "I am gonna wring your neck. And then your asshole."

Darn : Wow, they took all damn day to get to that point.

Darn : Michael is Clark Kent.

Jase : How can people write like this? Seriously, we tried working off breakdowns once and we were able to do it better than that.

Jase : How can people write scenes like this and be like, "well, mission accomplished."

Darn : Much, it wasn't all ring around the collar.

Darn : The rosie, whatever.

Jase : Sleeping together, Marcie, without you, that's what John and I will be doing.

Darn : I thought he was gonna say "I have a feeling that John and I are gonna be sleeping togther."

Darn : LIKE DAT!

Jase : Natalie returns home to her incredibly nasty, unattractive, emotionally cold man.

Darn : John looks like refried shit.

Jase : He looks so fucking awful and acts so horrible and yet they still treat him like HRO OF SHOW.

Darn : He's like if Wolverine went on a crack binge.

Jase : Natalie's face screams "my marriage to Anthony Quinn, meth addict."

Darn : IS SHE KEEPING THE EVIDENCE?

Jase : She took his pubes from the crime scene!

Darn : John just had to masturbate on Spencer, to prove his dominence.

Darn : Oh, thank God, it's over.

Jase : Jesus that was awful.

Jase : I ain't coming back.

Jase : Well, maybe for a few more of those with you, but other than that.

Darn : That was like watching one segment on a loop.

Darn : Nothing happened. Nothing.

Jase : I'm saying, that's why I left, you didn't have to pay attention to the show to know the dialogue.

Jase : It's just, how can they do scenes like that, and be like, "well, I believe I performed my duty as a dialogue writer to the best of my ability and that this was a gripping hour of daytime television."

Darn : That's my question to ALL of daytime.

Jase : You know what, I understand the nature of soaps and all that, and you have to constantly refeed certain exposition and points and stagger out the scenes in accordance with a daily serial, but IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE AMATEURISH.

Jase : That was amateurish. It was just, it's been like this for at least a year, it's so glaringly amateurish and repetitive and scenes go on and on and say the same things five different ways, and the viewer ALWAYS knows where it will end up.

Jase : I shouldn't KNOW where it will end up.

Darn : Seriously.

Darn : And even if you DO know the journey should be worth it.

Jase : I knew when I turned it on that Blair and Antonio would not be done talking by the end of the hour.

Jase : Just sad.

Jarn: Together Again For The Third Time

*This is pretty lengthy, read at your own risk*

SO...it's been a pretty big soap week. With the cancellation of Passions (yay!boo!), the firing of Cady McClain (BOO!) and more pathetic ratings and horrible writing (same old, same old) Jase and I got into a pretty lengthy discussion (rant, vent, bitchfest) about the state of soap operas. It's at times rambling and uh, off-topic but gets pretty intense towards the end (Jase is a great writer):

Jase: OH WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm sorry, I had to come back. DIXIE?

Darn: What?

Jase: Apparently SOD has scooped that the Satin Killer kills Dixie.

Darn: NO!

WHAT WHY?

Jase: It's not confirmed, but is making the rounds.

Insane.

Darn: WTF?

Cady did just take down her ABC blog.

Jase: I suppose it could be part of someone's wind up to try and convince people of this ludicrous rumor that AMC is going exclusively to SN and cutting most of its vets, but.

Darn: Oh geez.

Then there is no point to AMC, why even continue?

Lord. I don't even know anymore.

Jase: I personally do not believe that AMC will go to SoapNet and cut all its vets to do it. I don't buy that.

Nor am I sure this Dixie thing is true.

SOD news generally comes out on THURSDAYS.

Maybe P&G lured Cady back, this is just stupid.

Darn: Well, that was pointless.

I don't think Cady would go back to ATWT where they've recast Hunt's part.

Jase: Well, who knows.

But Jesus how stupid if it's true.

They spent all this time on it and cast two little girls and for what?

Darn: So basically Dixie came back to do nothing and then die for real. What a waste.

Jase: That's just awful. How will they try to explain THIS in the press? "Uh, Dixie's story was...told?"

Darn: McTavish WILL definitely say that.

Jase: After ALL that fanfare. Ridiculous.

"We, uh, brought back Kate twice just so we could kill Dixie off right then. No, really. Seriously."

Darn: Tad and Dixie still have a respectable fanbase and all they've done is fuck with them for a year.

"It was integral to the journey."

Jase: "And by journey, we mean end of the journey."

What will really make me laugh is if they claim it was planned when she came back. HAHAHAHA!

Darn: Please.

Jase: That was my Stewie Griffin laugh.

Well, if it's any consolation this is how I felt when I heard about Gabrielle.

Darn: I mean, they went out and purposely found two little girls that resemble Cady and are adorable and Tad and Dixie could FINALLY be happy and together and they kill her off? WHAT THE FUCK?

Just…dumbness.

Jase: When was the decision made? And it had to be made either by Cady or to cut costs, and recently.

Otherwise, why cast the girls.

"No, no, don't cut Josh or Amanda or Annie, these are characters we NEED, who is left? WHO?"

brb, keep ranting

Darn: "Di and Aiden have BIG THINGS on the horizon! BIG THINGS!"

Jase: Seriously, how is Di not dead?

I thought that bitch would be next.

But no, apparently we need Di and not Dixie.

Darn: Di is so very important to the fabric of the show.

I feel like all soaps are giving an intentional Fuck You to everything we want.

EVERYTHING.

Jase: And you know she will cry about it. "Who would have thought that...the real Dixie would be killed..."

Darn: “Well, time to curl mah hair and sex up Tad, this is so hard for me but Dixie would have wanted it this way.”

Jase: It's confirmed.

Darn: AW HELL!

Jase: As a SON poster notes, it seems she might have given some hints in a recent FYI Q&A thingy for SOD.

"Sound that most annoys you: "You're fired"
What actor would you choose to play you: "I'm available!"
Worst job I ever had: "Hmmm...."
Biggest regret: "I'm working on it""

If they seriously fired her they are beyond brain damaged.

Darn: Woah, poor Cady.

Jase: What would possibly possess them to do this other than vicious budget cuts? Insane.

And even if you cut the budget, you don't kill off fucking Dixie after all this.

Darn: You know McTavish was all "I HAVE A GREAT IDEA YOU GUYS, A BIG HUGE TWIST!"

Exactly, you FIND A FUCKING WAY!

Jase: And that's how she will be quoted. "It's an amazing twist."

But it KILLS EVERY OTHER STORY FOR TAD AND THAT KID.

Darn: And it'll drive viewers off in droves.

Jase: EVERYTHING Tad and that family has done since Dixie died has been placeholding waiting for her ass to come back.

More than one person has it from SOD, it seems.

Without Dixie, they all just go back to placeholding, only now they have the kid, it's just, there was no point to ANYTHING.

Darn: Then she comes back, lurks for a dumbass reason and spends six months flirting with Ian Thornhart.

Jase: Patrick Thornhart.

Darn: He was Ian on PC and that's where I grew to hate him.

Jase: Yes, well, I hated him there too.

Darn: And also Y&R is just another soap now.

Jase: I found out I have an old tape with the last year of PC on it, with Lainey the werewolf, etc.

Michael Easton actually seems awake there. I hated Caleb but he seems like he's acting.

Darn: Pizzaface. OLTL is so bad.

Jase: SO bad.

Darn: When do things with Bo/Nora/Lindsay start rolling?

Jase: I want to take heart in the fact that Hillary has a new big contract and will have story, apparently in March, but.

Darn: Yeah, BUT.

Jase: I also cannot stomach Todd with Evangeline. CANNOT. And TSJ needs to seriously stop fucking around. I have had enough of this shit.

Did you see Evangeline singing on New Year's? OH MY GOD.

Darn: Nice of Lindsay to say that EJ is nothing but a bastardy dipshit in order for Bo to be all "Hmm, you're kinda sexy, eh?". Whatever.

Jase: Yeah, QUICK CHANGE!

Darn: No and no thanks.

RJ, I meant.

And Paige is like that extra foot you don't need.

Jase: She...okay, so Claudia Reston got drunk and could not sing (and then left the show) and so WHO, WHO does Rex call in to sing instead?

Who just happens to be there?

OMG ITS EVANGELINE!!

And then that ho is all bashful and shit and then she starts singing some DISCO SONG. "Boogie-woogie-woogie..." And she does, like disco moves, and the robot, I AM NOT KIDDING, it was the worst thing I have ever seen. Meanwhile, EVERYONE is doing the white boy chicken dance to this great performance, REX, ADRIANA, DORIAN, EVERYONE.

This actually happened.

Darn: That girl has a GREAT voice, that Claudia person, I just started listening to some Hairspray and she's awesome. But Claudia had no purpose.

LOL

Jase: I wanted to beat the shit out of her every time she took time out to SING.

Darn: Did the whole cast take time to tell Vangie how wonderful she is?

Jase: Oh, Darnell. Um, this is going to send your blood pressure sky high but this is apparently re: Dixie's exit, unconfirmed quote, but..

""[Tad and Dixie] was our original plan, but then we received our focus group feedback and realized that more fans want to see Babe and Crystal storylines, so we had to let someone go. At this time, it seems most plausable to kill of Dixie and open the door for a Crystal, Tad, Kate, and baby storyline. Fabulous things are on the horizion at AMC. We do wish Cady the best."

Darn: No, I don't believe that. That is entirely too close to what we've written.

Jase: Yeah, well.

Darn: I refuse to believe that.

PEOPLE HATE BABE AND KRYSTAL, THEY HAAAAAATE THEM! THEY HAVE FOR YEARS!

Jase: They would have to be insane to publicize a quote like that.

Darn: I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Jase: Especially at this point. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HIRED THESE CONSULTANTS?

Darn: And it spells Krystal's name wrong.

I don't even give a fuck anymore, ya know?

Jase: Insane.

I am really, really sorry.

This is about what it would do to me if they had really killed Nora. Gabrielle is somewhat comparable but slightly less.

Darn: If OLTL does something good with Bo/Nora/Lindsay I'll be even more pissed.

Because I could have had it all. Tad and Dixie and my Bo and Nora.

Jase: That is unbelievable.

That will kill AMC. Maybe that's what they want. This is so insane.

It's just staggering to me that they could be THAT stupid.

Darn: The show isn't worth the effort anymore.

Jase: No, it really isn't.

Darn: They're not, this is purposeful, they want it dead.

And GL is killing Tammy.

Not that it even compares.

Jase: Aren't she and Pelphrey BOTH leaving? Why do that?

Darn: That's what I mean.

They want to drive us off.

Jase: If it is purposeful, then I would say if an ABC soap is to be cancelled it might be AMC after all. Not that I necessarily believe that rumor and I always thought it would be OLTL first.

Jase: Write an angry letter. Just to do it.

Darn: Yeah, that'll help.

Jase: It can help. I know from experience. It blows off some steam.

Darn: I'm not even that mad.

Just confused.

I don't feel like particularly watching or writing about Y&R to be honest.

Jase: It's hard to want to write anything about any of em right now, even DOOL, which is good.

Jeff Zucker says DOOL will probably not continue on NBC past '09. Fuck you too, sir.

Darn: Oh joy.

So it's just Fuck The Soaps Week, isn't it?

Jase: Apparently.

Darn: Bindi Urwin scares me.

Jase: Me too.

Darn: Wow, so he said that, huh?

Jase: Apparently.

Darn: I'm surprised.

Jase: Me too. It's just tacky. I could use some less fuck me news about the soaps.

Darn: Why not just cancel them both? I mean, really.

Jase: No. DOOL is doing well, that wouldn't be right.

Darn: I mean, it's gonna be gone in 2 years, he's said as much, why even pretend that they care?

Jase: Because it has a chance.

Either at NBC or on ABC, Frons has always wanted it, but I would not be willing to lose a soap to take it.

Darn: They fired Cady. FIRED HER. Yet we still have Di, Del, Aiden, Amanda, Annie, Josh, Babe and Krystal.

After Julia Barr I should not be surprised.

Jase: It is amazing, I am.

I was numb to GH killing Alan because they've killed a number of people the last few years they shouldn't have, and will probably also kill Scott. By AMC and Dixie threw me.

Darn: Because she was actually onscreen and frontburner.

I'm surprised GH has kept him and Leslie Charleston as long as they have.

Jase: I'm sure she's next. It took Frons a while but he eventually got to throw out everyone he wanted to.

He wanted Adam, Alan, Monica, etc out years ago. I am sure Adam and Palmer are next since Frons was gunning for David Canary right when he got to ABCD.

Darn: I think he was brought on to slowly destroy the soaps, to make then so unrecognizable that the few fans left wouldn't care when they're cancelled.

When Adam leaves AMC falls apart.

Jase: That's what people thought in the first place but I thought it was too crazy, that's not good business. I still have a hard time believing that. But this latest shit...

Darn: Yeah, and it's kinda working on me. I literally can't watch AMC for more than 20 seconds. It's just so full of agendas.

Who supports the transgendered shim accused of murder before anyone else? Babe. Because Babe is love and this backwards hick understands that Zarf is a "she" and should be respected as such. No one else "gets it".

Jase: Shim Sham.

I could really use some good news. I can't talk any more of the happy talk bullshit these stupid, stupid executives spit out in the press.

"Yes, we killed Dixie, but these characters are going on a journey." After so many years and such a long death spiral it ALL sounds the same.

Darn: I swear the heads of all the networks got together and decided they would destroy their own shows. Look at Y&R; I've never seen the viewers so divided.

Jase: Why don't they just admit it? We hate it, they know we hate it, they know the shows suck, they know why the shows suck, they just refuse to acknowledge it.

Darn: They FIRED people who had worked on the show for over 20 years and brought on ALL NEW PEOPLE.

They MUST know they suck, they can't possibly look at their product and think "This is good.".

Jase: It's like to do that would be unprofessional. No, unprofessional would be continuing this.

But they refuse to acknowledge the viewership. They can't honestly still believe there is some new, young tween viewership out there for them to snag. That dream has to be gone. So they think all they left is middle aged housewives sitting on recliners and that they have no brains and will watch anything. They KNOW it's bad and they know everyone can see through the obvious agendas, they get the mail, but somehow it would be "unprofessional" to acknowledge the blaringly obvious.

Jase: I don't even know what to say. I'm just tired. Unless I could bring it to the public and put it in someone at the network's face I just can't.

And I've written all the fucking letters before, over and over.

It's like, either fix them, or cancel them tomorrow and stop WASTING ALL OF OUR FUCKING TIME pretending any of you give a shit.

Julie Carruthers, Turner's favorite fucking executive producer in the world because she did Port Charles, presided over this. She has some brains. Why does she allow it?

Why do they bother giving out these breathless, effusive quotes month after month, week after week in that sham soap press? Don't waste my time.

Darn: I just feel so useless, a genre we love is dying this horrible death. I'd be much happier seeing all the soaps cancelled tomorrow. I mean, last episode tomorrow. Just cut them off.

They're all bleeding to fucking death.

Jase: That's what I'm saying. DON'T WASTE MY TIME.

Stop with the enthusiastic bullshit quotes in the magazines about your latest horseshit story or the latest shitty young actor you managed to give one of those worthless Emmys to or the latest Broadway hire who cannot act and sings too much and don't tell me more about what John McBain will be doing in the summer and just STOP. You know it sucks, you clearly don't care about it or about what people want, so make yourselves happy. STOP and CANCEL IT.

EDIT: I foolishly forgot to mention the passing of Darlene Conley, Sally Spectra was a force of nature and that was all thanks to Darlene Conley's portrayal.