DOOL - Friday, etc - Nick Fallonator Brings Sexy Back & Wants To Inseminate You

Oh, yes, ladies. That's right. He ain't gripping his central waist/crotch in a pyramid-like, Freemason-esque shape
for nothing. It's a signal. It's Nick Fallon's phallocentric vortex of love. Ladies. Laaaaaaddiiiieeeessss. And also, more likely, guys.

Nick Fallon orders you to nestle in his armpit hair. So get to it, bitches. The nestling, that is.

Damn! I just, damn! Damn.

Seriously though, it's been a great few weeks for the show since Hogan Sheffer took over, and an even greater one this week. He's adding the first of his new people, and among them is your new best friend and mine - mostly mine - The Fallonator. And I ask you, what's not to love? The charming functional, three-dimensional geek character who can win and be happy, the type we so rarely see in soaps. The great chemistry with future Nick's Bitch, Chelsea, who he will surely eventually fully extricate from her obsession with The Parents I Barely Know. The connection to the Hortons, specifically Marie "Whorish Nun" Horton. The dick-sucking lips. It's all great! Oh, I love him. Stay forever, Fallonator. Inseminate us all, you brilliant geneticist. That's right, I spoke for all of you.


Then came the drunken Bo/Billie almost-sex. Hawt. I was stunned to discover Peter Reckell still has a great, eatable chest and stomach. Anyway, very hot, very stupid for Billie. But it was also good closure, which they desperately needed. Still, you know...any time, more fucky fucky? It might be amusing. And then I'd want her off the show again. Which I already do, even though I think Julie Pinson is doing a great job in what is a pointless go-nowhere role. She totally inhabits the character's whole history, especially when, in the last few weeks, they made Billie discuss her addictions and her abuse by her father. Every choice Pinson makes is totally real. I also appreciate that the writers are taking steps to end Chelsea's obsession with the two of them, and rationalize it - that it's really about her need for acceptance and any kind of touchstone as a recent orphan (from the Bensons) than about Bo and Billie themselves, and is doomed to reality.


I thought Shawn and Belle with Victor was great. Hogan and the new writers are really taking pains to show Shawn and Belle as individuals and intelligent adults and it's really resonating with me. I can buy them as adults for the first time, and I can buy them together for the first time. I really enjoyed that stuff, and I love that Victor's scheming against them. Hogan's spoken repeatedly about his affection for the Victor character and his desire to show him and his family as powerful again, and it was clear that they wanted to remind people of Victor's place on the show. Good stuff. Shawn/Belle = Potential New Legitimate Adult Hotness. I accept your challenge, Hogan Sheffer. Ganbatte!

The Maggie and Caroline scenes this week have been smashing. People say Hogan Sheffer hates vets but honestly, even as just talk-tos, we see so much more of them lately and it's good material. That conversation between Maggie and Billie about addiction was aeons more adult than anything that's been on this show in over ten years. And look! They showed Maggie and Caroline talking to each other! In private! As friends! With no one else under the age of fifty there! And they are not immediately executed by studio guards! Oh, it is to love.

Steve and Kayla, great. I just, I have had enough of the budget edition of Outbreak. Please to make with the hot romance and cheesy '80s music.

Proof Abe and Lexie cannot have nice things: What happened to this fucking cake?! All that build-up to their wonderful dessert and they left it there untouched! What happened to the cake? Bitches eat your cake or you never get to eat again! Oh the anger!