Daytime Emmys: This Shit Is Potluck

JARN: TOGETHER ONCE MORE LIKE ALWAYS BEFORE

Darn (8:57:52 PM): Starting 3 minutes early!

Jase (8:57:57 PM): That is...just sad.

Jase (8:58:06 PM): No host, or if there's a host it's Bob Barker.

Darn (8:58:09 PM): What in the hell? THAT'S THE STAGE?

Darn (8:58:14 PM): Oh, this is class.

Jase (8:58:16 PM): BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL EMMYS. Like I've been saying. Sam's Club of awards shows.

Darn (8:58:37 PM): Fact: They're having this in a trailer park.

Jase (8:58:49 PM): This is not an auditorium, it is A SPARE SET.

Jase (8:59:15 PM): Cattle pens on the stage for fans.

Darn (8:59:15 PM): We had some extra plywod, y'all.

Jase (8:59:47 PM): This is unbelievable. The red carpet is ON THE STAGE?

Darn (8:59:46 PM): All those women? Molested by the Barker.

Jase (8:59:55 PM): I know, tears inside.

Darn (8:59:57 PM): I'm telling you, it's a classy event.

Darn (9:00:01 PM): Pure class.

Jase (9:00:16 PM): I've been saying it for years, the Daytime Emmys are the K-Mart shows.

Jase (9:00:20 PM): Well, no intro, huh? No preamble?

Jase (9:00:37 PM): No monologue, no nothing? Let's just get this trailer park show over with? OKAY THEN.

Darn (9:00:41 PM): Constantine, this is the "star" B&B hires. We're almost there!

Darn (9:00:58 PM): This is beyond cheap.

Jase (9:01:03 PM): Who is that on stage, Killraven?

Jase (9:01:07 PM): Oh, CONSTANTINE! Jesus.

Darn (9:01:25 PM): Genie should get it, just cause she's been holding up the Luke and Laura myth for 25 years.

Jase (9:02:04 PM): Next time don't submit A SEX SCENE, REG.

Darn (9:02:16 PM): I had no idea Beck Herbst was even nominated til...right now.

Jase (9:02:23 PM): I thought Genie wouldn't be there yet, I bet half the nominees are still trying to find a parking space in the alley.

Jase (9:02:46 PM): Lesli Kay and her midget son.

Darn (9:02:49 PM): The show is in a TRAILER, they all road over together.

Jase (9:03:01 PM): Circus midget, I mean.

Darn (9:03:03 PM): Crying = Award worthy.

Jase (9:03:06 PM): It really is like a traveling roadshow.

Darn (9:03:06 PM): No, really.

Jase (9:03:10 PM): GO HEATHER!

Darn (9:03:20 PM): I love Heather but GO GENIE!

Darn (9:03:24 PM): I'll root for Dan.

Jase (9:03:26 PM): HAIR: AMAZING

Jase (9:03:31 PM): I will root for either GF or HT.

Darn (9:03:40 PM): YAY!

Jase (9:03:45 PM): Thank God.

Jase (9:03:56 PM): And the REG fangirls aim their laser scope rifles from the rafters.

Darn (9:03:57 PM): Aww, this is sweet.

Jase (9:04:17 PM): The steps are high school bleachers.

Jase (9:04:22 PM): This is the high school set from OLTL!

Darn (9:04:43 PM): They had the actors assemble them an hour beforehand.

Jase (9:04:55 PM): HAHA, yes.

Jase (9:05:03 PM): Tony is dressed like Mr. Freeze.

Darn (9:05:20 PM): Ellen's like "Why am I here? What is this? This isn't the OSCARS, WTF?!"

Jase (9:05:22 PM): Okay, Ellen, Mr. B Natural look gotta stop.

Jase (9:05:34 PM): Ellen got a rickshaw in from the service entrance.

Jase (9:05:50 PM): The rest walked underground for ten minutes, like at the 42nd street subway.

Darn (9:05:51 PM): Oh I know where they are, you silly goose, my high school cafeteria.

Darn (9:06:04 PM): Clearly!

Darn (9:06:21 PM): What is she, Colonel Sanders?

Darn (9:06:32 PM): Oh, I like Cash Cab.

Jase (9:06:40 PM): Seriously, there was NO monologue, NO opening, NO nothing, just, "okay, go to it, kids, have your little show in the barn. Uh, basement."

Jase (9:06:55 PM): This is the most humiliating Clearance Sale Emmys yet.

Darn (9:06:58 PM): I forgot they had to do game show and talk show shit, THAT DOESN'T INTURUUUUST ME.

Darn (9:07:09 PM): They had a surplus.

Jase (9:07:21 PM): That's why they get the extra hour.

Darn (9:07:25 PM): Most of them with Tony Geary and Erika Slezak's names already on them.

Jase (9:07:31 PM): Otherwise it's a one hour show, HAHA, YOU KNOW THAT'S COMING.

Jase (9:07:47 PM): Two years, a one hour show, it turns into like the Technical Awards. Genie's house.

Jase (9:07:56 PM): Everybody takes off their shoes on the way in.

Jase (9:08:02 PM): Drinking from plastic cups.

Darn (9:08:30 PM): This shit is potluck.

Jase (9:08:35 PM): MOTTO

Darn (9:08:47 PM): WE HAVE A WOMAN ON STAGE WITH A CAMERA.

Jase (9:08:48 PM): That should be the title for the first update.

Jase (9:08:54 PM): "Daytime Emmys: This Shit Is Potluck"

Jase (9:08:56 PM): OH LORD

Jase (9:09:22 PM): Why not just do it outside like Super Soap Weekend? You remember SSW, you worked it, let's just go for the whole nightmare. Let's have no remaining dignity at all, daytime.

Darn (9:09:55 PM): Have somebody hump Maurice Benard onstage.

Jase (9:10:08 PM): Women throw clothing.

Jase (9:10:34 PM): OH MY GOD

Jase (9:11:08 PM): YouTube lite on the screens with dumbass fans acting a fool. This is like some Down Home Swap Meet Pep Rally.

Jase (9:11:56 PM): And you know what, they could do better with this, they just DON'T anymore. Almost all the people working BTS at daytime consider it "just daytime" and just treat it like this, but now all the worst things about daytime, all the worst stereotypes, that's this whole show.