Sep 3, 2006

Y&R - Friday - Von Trapped

As much as I don't like Sharon and the pangs of indifference I feel towards Nick I can't help but be on her side. Why don't Nick and Phyllis just build a gingerbread house next to the cabin? They can have a dozen children, name them Hanzel 1 through 6 and Gretel 7 through 12. And then Phyllis can have them help her do laundry as she sings songs from The Sound of Music. Julie Andrews can guest star as Phyllis' mom! Think of the ratings! Oh my God, Nick and Phyllis are the best thing to happen to this show in forever!


They could have an ARMY OF LITTLE BASTARDS! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Phyllis?
You knock her up with a Newman Spawn!



Phyllis: Hanzel's 1,2,3,4, 5 and 6! Gretel's 7,8,9,10,11 and 12! Supper's READY! Lala!
Hanzel 4: Oh mother, you know that I do not eat things of green! Out, out I say!
Phyllis: I'm sorry, dear. I'll throw this away!
Gretel 11: Mother, I shant call you mother anymore!
Phyllis: Oh darling, why not?
Gretel 11: Because filthy whore rolls off the tongue even better! Filthy whore!
Phyllis: So precocious! Oh children, I've a song for you before we have supper!
Hanzel 1,2,3,4, 5,6 & Gretel 7,8,9,10,11,12: Oh bother!

Doe, what you say after watching this show
Ray, the light that Victor sees
Me, the only word Glo ho can say
Fa, where she needs to go
Sew, what if Dru lied?
La, the noise I repeat when Neil starts to speak
Tea, the only thing ClackClack can make
That will bring us back to Zapato!

Hanzel 1,2,3,4, 5,6 & Gretel 7,8,9,10,11,12: That doesn't even rhyme, what a waste of time!
Phyllis: Oh bother.

Aren't the dead supposed to see everything? Past, present, future? Well, John should see his hellcat of a wife sabotaging his company and his son with her treachery. Treachery! Treachery! Suddenly I feel like an old woman making stabbing motions with her hands. And I don't know why.

I find this whole thing contrived, NO WAY does Jack think, even in his subconscious that Gloria deserves respect. For fuck's sake. And Michael can suck a donkey. He knows his shrew of a mother has no soul. He knows this. Why are they doing this to him? This is wildly out of character for him.

And not that it matters in the least but Ashley was looking a hot mess Friday. Like, on purpose. Sad.

I adore when Dru talks in third person. "Dru is not havin' it. Dru is pouring coffee. Dru is sitting down. Dru is tired. Dru needs rest. Dru is napping." I'd buy that on DVD.

There are rumors about that Jeanne Cooper might be on the chopping block. Let's step back and contemplate this. Jeanne Cooper is not someone you want to fire. Because I believe, with no trace of sarcasm, that she could kick everyone's ass. And by everyone I mean the world. And by the world I mean you. I've only ever watched her on the picture box and she's only about 8 inches tall on there and I still hide behind my couch when she comes onscreen. Because her asskicking ability radiates off the screen. I'm just saying how I feel.



Jeanne: He only speaks the truth.

9 comments:

crc said...

laughing hysterically

I could barely make it through the Phyllis and her Hansel and Gretel children. LOL!

I don't know what was going on with Ashley's hair, but it looked like she was wearing cheap ass wig. She must have been taken one of Gloria's while Jack packed her things in trash bags.

Dru is THE DIVA! I loved how she had the nerve to dis Phyllis and Nick right in Nick's face and his own damn home. You go girl!

Jeanne Cooper might be on the chopping block? TIIC better not even think about it!

smartyshorts said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
smartyshorts said...

Climb Every Mountain!
Swim every stream....

Darn, Whatever it is that you do or take or smoke before you create this magic, I need some to sprinkle all over my Corn Flakes every morning.

I'm waiting for Phyllick to start tonguing each other down right in front of Sharon Nikki, Zapato et al. (HFV would just be like "Oh, isn't that darling. they like each other so much! That is how puppies make friends, they smell each other's be-hinds. Noah, did you know that? ) I would say during Thanksgiving Dinner, but Phyllis should've spawned by then.
Maybe they'll have Sharon hold the baby so they can get each others clothes off faster.

Dammit Glo, you're ruining my soap.
And you're right, shouldn't John be able to see EVERYTHING? Although I knew it wouldn't happen, I really wanted Ghost dad to say..."Damn, you were right Jacky. grind that Back Alley Grifter into dust."
Shut up, all permutations of Fisher Baldwins. Yes, even you Lauren.

Dee said...

ROFL! You are so special! Meep Meep ass. lmao

books said...

Dang you are TALENTED!

SOOOOO FUNNY!

Love the do-re-mi song!

jcleopatra said...

LMAO!!! No words, just laughter!!!

jfdb said...

oh Darn, you are not gonna believe the latest Gloria bullshit with Jabot. Argh! I can't wait to see you eviscerate her some more - it's never too much, you know? So keep at it, you are, like, the only voice of reason where she is concerned, I swear to Zapato!

Darn said...

Oh God, is it that bad? I don't think my fingers can take attacking that beech again. Oh what the hell, yes they can.

And thank you guys so much. I love ya'll like crazy. Beyonce crazy. That's a lot of love.

Kaboom said...

(sigh of relief) Oh thank Zapato you're back, Darn!

I cannot f'ing believe TIIC are thinking of letting JC go. What.the.fuck?! We have to put up with the GloBag's acting that is more appropriate for a circa 1920 silent movie and yet may lose JC??

That said, from now on when I see Phyllis I'm going to start humming selections from the Sound of Music. lol