Sep 12, 2006

Y&R - Tuesday - Paging Dr. Banner


Victor: HellomydarlingNikki! Howareyou? Didyouenjoytheeventverymuch?
Nikki: It was pleasant if a bit underwhelming.



Victor: Who is this Whelming? Whywereyouunderhim? WHY WERE YOU UNDER HIM?
Nikki: I--I wasn't! Victor! Victor, please!



Victor: Victorplease? VICTOR PLEASE?! MY NAME IS NEWMAN, VICTOR NEWMAN AND THIS IS MY HOME AND YOU ARE FIRED!



Victor: FIRED FROM WIFERY!


Victor: HimydarlingNikki, howwasyourday? I hope it was goodforyou!
Nikki: Oh shit.

Sure, you were all hunky dorey when it was wine and roses and snowflakes but as soon as he whips out the Smith and Wesson we need to "call the autorities" [waving my hands mockingly]. What do you want from the man, Nicole? He can only do so much.

This negro (I was tempted to call him the other word but I abhor that word) did not just say "I have half a mind to smack you." He didn't! I DID NOT SEE OR HEAR THAT SHIT COME OUT OF HIS FUCKING MOUTH!

After Neil and Carmen MAKE OUT, do they forget that they MAKE OUT? Because watching them be all "That Dru. What ever will we do with that Dru and her crazy notions?". Did this chick not screw Jack in the break room? Not latch herself onto Neil, a married man? Did Neil not admit his feelings for her? Not only are they self-righteous, they're self-righteous and boring.

Who keeps a picture of themself on their disk? Way to be vain, Carmie. HAHA to Dru cutting up your clothes. You get what you give, bitch.

Why are Jill, Kay and Ashley standing by as Hecuba tramples all over John's memory? Gloria is dry humping Will a week after wailing on the Abbott doorstep and Kay and Jill going to bat for her and they're saying nothing like "Hey, maybe, just maybe, Jack had a point." UGH. I hate this.

Noah: Where's my mom?
Me: Adding another stain to the dress that is her life.

Edit: Huh, I just realized I forgot Jack and Sharon's nastiness. You know how when some people suffer a tragedy the brain will block out that event? That's what happened here, for a few hours anyway. Stupid brain.

Edit Dos: Holy shankies. I forgot Gloria's singing as well. Thank you, brain. I hate you, brain.

10 comments:

Kia said...

Those illustrations rule at life.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah. Continuum, $10, Target through Saturday.

Kaboom said...

LOVE the pics!

What the holy FUCK was that...noise, that...caterwaling, that screeching? Is that demons' mating call or something? My. GAWD. And these 4 adults just standing and watching GloBag practically hump Will, why??

Carmen, go. away. now. You're cute but please. You are irrelevant. Be gone and take the Glamour Shot of yourself that you keep on your own desk with you.

Demig said...

Yes, Darn, selective amnesia as a result of a trauma or direct insult to our psyches, that is what the Sharin'/Jack and Glohag shit did to all of us. At one point I though Sharin'/Jack, hmm, could be interesting. But the reality was gross, ick and like catching a beloved uncle with the high school slut! Dirty! For both of them, but not in a good way.
I think they want to hook up Jack but can't find anyone to bring the same or similar chemistry he had with Jill or GigglyHeffa - previously known as Phyllis.
This Kneel shit - makes me sick, I wish he tried to hit Dru and she took off her shoe and beat him over the head like the bitch he is. For the first time ever, I really feel like writing to a show about the Dru/Kneel interaction - I don't see other couples, no matter what shit is happening - have the man border on physically abusive and it not being address. Sorry for the long post/rant, I am just -- aaahhhgggh!

Darn said...

Demig, I feel your pain. It's funny you say that because right before I read this I was thinking the same thing, how offensive I find Neil's reaction to Dru. Slap her? Why did that even get through the script phase? I just...don't understand.

Making those drawings was lots of fun. EB's facial expressions alone make this story worthwhile.

smartyshorts said...

Happy Birthday you Wonderful Loon.
Hope you're having champagne and all get all kinds of goodies. And I'll raise an extra glass of champagne to toss in GloBag's gaping maw.
I'm not wasting good bubbly on Neil though. I'll toss some tap water on him. With a fire hose.
When did I start HATING Neil and liking Sharon?
Is Darn's birthday like the beginning of the Apocalypse?
If it is, Feliz Navidad Giggly Heffa

smartyshorts said...

Wait, I didn't mean Feliz Navidad. i KNOW that means Happy Christmas. i KNOW that.
I meant Feliz Cumpleanos.
Damn, five years of Spanish and this is the best I can do.

Happy Birthday!

jfdb said...

Darn, it's 11 o'clock my time, so it's STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY! Yay. Happy Day to you.

At this point I'll pass the mike to one of your biggest fans: "You wake up - and it's that feeling. This is Your Day. Special. Just for you. Your B-Day" Uh, right. Thanks Beyonce!

I wish you much Smilin' Jack, Dru/hats/bookcases, and Dily in the year to come. If anyone deserves it, it's you. Thanks for this blog, the source of much joy.

You're a star, baby!

jfdb said...

Dude, Whitney's getting a dee-vorce. Just like Sharin!

Do you think she's off the crack?

Way to go girl!

Darn said...

My birthday was absent money, hos, Dily, Dru, Jack AND Zapato! WTF, you guys? I'm so disappointed. I didn't get not one ho, not one dollar, not one Zapato. SAD.

Shame, shame, shame.

But all is forgiven! I love you guys! As you can see I took yesterday off, not cause it was my birf day (as Jase likes to say) but because...why should I suffer through weavetastic Dru and PodPhyllis on my motherfuckin' birthday? Fuck. That. Shit.