DOOL - Civil War of Dunces

Darn: Did you know that Days was the epitome of good soap until '97. Then Reilly left it all started to suck! That Corday! That other guy! And that lady! Why they keep you down, James, why they keep you down?

Jase: Oh Christ, not again.

Darn: And I'm sorry but Deidre Hall's reaction to Stefano is LAUGHABLE.

Jase: Yes, it's all Corday's fault that the tree fell and yet there was no storm.

Darn: Corday stole my embryo.

Darn: They're just so obnoxious about it. Days was NOT A WORK OF ART under James Effing Reilly.

Darn: It was pop culture fluff, why do they insist it was something else?

Jase: Because they can't live with accepting the facts.

Jase: There is such huge cognitive dissonance. They're thrilled Hogan Sheffer is taking over and Reilly is gone but oh, isn't it horrible what was done to JAAAAMES.

Jase: If they admit it, their childhood is gone or something.

Jase: And they're all such kids anyway.

Darn: Even the adult ones, such immaturity. I'm sorry, the show had a train wreck factor and no, the camera work was awful, the music was not THAT spooky and every episode had the same fucking tag, Marlena has green eyes! Ooooh! Shut up, you babies.

Darn: It wasn't unwatchable but it wasn't sent down from God either.

Jase: The question is what you do about it.

Darn: What do you mean?

Jase: Well, yell at them or something.

Darn: You have to handle the kids with kid gloves you see. I said something mildly unkind about Dee QUEEN OF DAYTIME AND THE WORLD AND SHE'S MY MOM and they nearly bit my head off.

Jase: FUCK THAT.

Jase: I said it all and those bitches, if they read me, then fuck em, they live with it. LIVE WITH IT!

Darn: I AM A BUSINESSMAN, JASE!

Jase: YOU ARE A FUTURIST!

Jase: You better believe I will rag on that bitch's ass when she comes back. I still have the John/Marlena Project Runway thing to do, and I'll be all over her. LIKE WHITE ON MY FACE AS OPPOSED TO RICE.

Darn: Is this what it's gonna be? Huh? Me reining your ass in all the damn time? "No, Jase, you can't start talking about the Cuban imbargo, for fuck's sack, this is about SOAP OPERAS!"

Jase: Cuban embargo? What? What?

Darn: Exactly.

Jase: You need to get off that stuff.

Darn: embargo?

Jase: EM.

Darn: Yeah, that, shut up.

Jase: Fucking EM, for GOD'S SAKE.

Darn: Fuck you.