Jul 14, 2006

Y&R - Punch! Pow! Zap! Popozao!

[Colleen and Lily are talking at Crimson Lights when a tall white guy approachs them]

: Awwww, yeah, gurl, how you be?
Colleen: Excuse me?
K-Fed: I SAAAYD, how you is, guuuuuurl?
Colleen: Uh, fine. Okay, I guess.
K-Fed: You lookin' fine AND okay, mamacita [smacks lips] Good enough ta eat!
Colleen: Oh God--
K-Fed: I like a gurl wit chil' bearin' hips, nawhatahmeen? Yo--yo, you wants to be my new babymama? I got 'em poppin' out like a Pez dispenser! Who's ya friend, ma?
Colleen: Ah, this is Lily.
K-Fed: Oh snap, oh snap, oh SNIZZAP! Dat's fine wit me, ya heard, cuz I like some coffee in my cream in my frosting in my licorice in my may-on-azz! Popozao!

Colleen painting Lily's toes was like Queen but in reverse! If you get that you are in my head and I am scared.

It figures Darth Vader would make prank calls. He's a funny guy that Anakin, not even molten lava can slow the hilarity! Love you, Annie! Call me!

So, Sharon, it's "A Guy Thing" to run from your problems? Then your must have a secret penis because YOU DID THE EXACT SAME THING. So SHUT UP! Just shaddupshaddupshaddup! Now you've got me all tired from YELLING AT YOUR DUMB, HYPOCRITICAL ASS! Now I'm sweaty! THANK YOU, SHARON FOR MAKING ME ALMOST AS SHINY AS YOU! THANK YOU!

AHHHH! Hope's face is on fire! Put it out! I was so sad when Hope died--oh wait, she didn't. WTF? Why are they bathing her in ethereal white light? To hide the emergency recast? Uh, we notice. It's okay, no one's gonna die over a recast of a character who hasn't been on in 5 years.

Paul, JT and SpyLady in a hotel room looking at paperwork. It's like James Bond in my living room! RIVETING TELEVISION! It's like I was there! It's like I was there!

Paul: By George, I've found it!
JT: Holy Poopshoot, Paul!
Paul: It's so...soft and sqiushy!
JT: Can I feel?!
Paul: Sure you can, old chum!
JT: Gosh, it IS soft! What's this brown stuff, Paul?
Paul: Let's see--[sniff] And the mystery deepens.

[Paul and JT find their own asses]


Arugula said...

Bahaha, that last part was great!

That crap with Paul and JT today was awful. Whenever Paul tries to mentor JT, I get sick.

They keep trying to find women with whom they can pretend Paul has some chemistry but ... never. Nothing. Nada. And this woman was such a hot shot PI that she was able to ... get them some files to look at. Woo!

Darn said...

I want to be a PI! Apparently it involves looking at files all day. Files where you never find out anything prevalent to your case. And also you can only look at these files in a hotel room in Cleveland. Because carrier services and fax machines don't work in Y&R land.

arugula said...

AND you get to say "How frustrating. I'm going to take a break and get a soda." every 15 minutes or so!

kia112 said...

Queen? Are you talking about that crap with Halle Berry? "He my pappy."

Darn said...

I am! That scene reminded me of how in Queen she had to sleep on a pull out at the end of her half-sister's bed. But in reverse. It's not even like the scenes were that similar but that's what my mind jumped to.