Jul 10, 2006


Okay, I missed Friday's ep but I have to say that Phyllis and Sharon's car crash (which they repeated at the beginning of Monday's ep) was surprisingly similar to what I had imagined and actually drawn up over the weekend (I swear to GOD I made this on Saturday and decided not to post it cause it was so dumb).

Sharon: I wore SHORTS! To WORK! I looked BEAUTIFUL!
Phyllis: I'm sure.
Sharon: And do you know WHY I wore shorts to work, Phyllis?
Phyllis: No, but you certainly are gonna tell me.
Sharon: Because I'm a NEWMAN! That makes me SPECIAL!
Phyllis: Yes, Sharon, you are very, very special.
Sharon: Well, where ARE we?
Phyllis: I'm not sure, lemme see...
Sharon: LET ME SEE!
Phyllis: Sharon, you're driving, I can read the map--
Sharon: I can read AND drive you know!
Phyllis: Yes, you CAN but you SHOULDN'T, now let me look at the map!


Now onto Monday:

You know one thing I've noticed is that Nikki and Victor aren't especially parental with their kids. Sure they interfere but rarely do they act like parents, as a shoulder to lean on or just you know, parent-type things. So the scenes between Victor and Nick acting like an actual father and son was quite a treat.

Kevin's mischevious smile when Jana commented that he and Colleen were putting on a "show" was rather delicious. He screamed "I am going to tap that. Multiple times."

But wow, Kevin, you mean to say Colleen tried to break up a couple AND ruined Victoria's bridal shower? Well, my goodness, what a bitch! Thank GOD, she didn't try to burn a young girl ALIVE! Because that's what normal, sane, "trust-worthy" people do. Sometimes he's such an entitled little creep.

Paul VS. Brad
The Battle of the Limp Dicks!
Who wins? WHO CARES?!

Brad: I want you to stop investigating my past!
Paul: I don't wanna!
Brad: But I said so!
Paul: But I dunwanna, I said!
Brad: But I really really really want you to, Paul!
Paul: Not gonesta do it!
[Brad slaps Paul, Paul slaps Brad and they continue like this for four hours]

Oh, if only Brad's name was actually Sammy Twinkletoes. I might tolerate him then.

Victor: Identitytheftisaveryseriouscrime!
Brad: Yes, yes, it is, that's why I'm he--
Victor: I'mVictorNewman!
Brad: Ah, yes, you are, but as I was--
Victor: My name is VictorNewman! I hope noonestealsmyidentitywhilewearespeaking!
Brad: Uh, I don't think they wi--
Victor: I AM VICTOR NEWMAN, IDENTITY THIEVES! Theycan'tstealmyface, can they? Oh, I hope theycannotstealmyface! Zapatowouldnotrecognizemewithoutmyface!

Did Sharon manage to handle Phyllis' pregnancy like an adult? Did the world turn, flip and roll the fuck over on its axis? Flabbergasted doesn't begin to describe it. My jaw has dropped to the floor, through the concrete, dirt and earth and bitch slapped someone in Australia. It almost makes me want to back up on her.

Except it doesn't! Gotchu! Making fun of Sharon is my lifeblood. Never gonna stop.


janie said...

Who wins? WHO CARES?!

For real. When Brad was all, "You don't leave until I tell you to," I did a big, campy, "Ooooooooooh!"

I mean, please.

lizzbert said...

Bwah ha ha!!! MINE MINE MINE!!!

Crandle said...

[Brad slaps Paul, Paul slaps Brad and they continue like this for four hours] They really need to do this. That would be excellent!! I am still laughing.

When Brad was all, "You don't leave until I tell you to," I did a big, campy, "Ooooooooooh!"
I really wanted Paul to say, "or what?" or "you and what army?" Then a slapping contest could begin.

Crandle said...

Oh yeah, Darn, that Nick and Phyllis vid is not from a friend of mine. Someone else posted it first, but I'm not sure who it was.

And that Sharon/Phyllis drawing was excellent. That's about the level of technology they used to show the "crash."

Darn said...

I've edited the post now, Crandle, thanks!

I've been thinking ever since I posted that drawing that people are gonna think that's the extent of my artistic ability (though I must say I think I captured Sharon's flyaway hair quite well), it's not! I can really draw! I swear!

I have some stuff at my LJ: http://colossusx.livejournal.com/

Kia said...

Mine mine mine....


So even though you can draw well, those stick figures are your calling. Embrace it.

lizzbert said...

Darn, I love that in your world, the denizens of Y&R speak like retarded five year olds. Oh wait--that's the way they sometimes sound on the show as well. :)

Darn said...

It's true! The funniest thing is watching Brad and Paul try to act "tough". Yeah, okay, we buy that. Sure! Riiiiight.