Y&R - Victor go down de hoooole!

Victor: Abby, Abby, ohmygoodness, whathashappened? Whyistherebloodonyourhands?
Abby: It is done.
Victor: What? What, sweetheart, what is done?
Abby: Zapato. He's gone now. And he won't be back.
Victor: Whay do you mean, won't be back? Idonotunderstand.
Abby: He crossed me. And now he will never cross me again.
Victor: [clasps his hand to his mouth] Ohno, Abby, whathaveyoudone?
Abby: I slay my enemies. And Zapato was my mortal enemy, and oh how mortal he was. Let theose robbers come within my sight and by God, by GOD, I will make them pay. And pay dearly.
Victor: OhmydearLord...
Abby: Have you any nappies? My hands are ever so dirty!

Listen, my father is a kind and sweet man, a nice quiet guy so him sitting down with some children and showing them how to spit would surprise me, shock me, make me go "What the fuck? Where am I? This is not my house, this is not my lovely wife!" but it would not completely bowl me over. However, Victor Newman is the Ganghis Khan of bastards, he's mayor and co-mayor of New Bastardly, he's--he's Hitler without all the Jew hating. So him sitting ON THE FLOOR and SPITTING watermelon seeds INTO A CUP should be a CAUSE FOR CONCERN.

Nikki's stink face over remembering Victor our right threatening her was great! Melody Thomas Scott gives great face! It's true! I love her too. And Eric Braeden telling that whole fishing tale with a straight face and such intense interest, I love him too (though that stunt fall concerns me greatly, try harder Eric but otherwise, that shit was gold, absolute gold)! Fuck I love them. Except the ones I don't. Youknowwhoyouare.

Sharon: Sometimes I get the feeling there's a lot going on inside of [Brad].
Me: That's call circuitry, sweetheart.

But but, let's put Sharon's little tale of marital communication through the Passive Aggressive to Human Machine:

"Tinky, tinky, tinky--I work too much, boss!"
"I know, I know but there's so much!"
"Why she gotta to be passi-gressive everyday?! I dun get it, boss!"
[Beep, Beep, Beep]

You should fuck me and not heeeeeer! Braaad! Coooome on! Nick's been gone for two whole days! And he doesn't talk to me! Victoria's teeth are scary! Braaad, whadda bout meeeeeee? Mmmhmmmhmmm? Coochie coo? A little coochie coo?

Long Live Zapato! That was just a joke, I'd never let anyone hurt that dog, he's the best thing to happen on this show in months.