Jun 23, 2006

GH - Oh Yes It's Whores Night. And the feeling, it is right.

Lainey/Louise: And here we are again!

Liz: Time to lick it, slam it, suck it!

Dr. Lee: Whaaazzuuuppppp??!!! Waaiiooowww!

Robin (scanning the crowd) : None of these men even vaguely resemble Stone. That guy sort of looks like him after the cocktail, but it's not the same. It's going to be slim pickings tonight...

Liz: Oh, honey, stop fretting. I am here to get crunked!

Lainey/Louise: Awww yeah, the slooziest bar in town! Ladies, this is just what we needed to do to honor Justus' memory! Dank-ass pit! Looks like The Dark Crystal in here! The truckers here will kill my ass and leave my stuff in the glove compartment, yeah!

Dr. Lee: Yatta! Whaaaahhhh! Aaaaahhhh!!

Liz (confused) : Hey, waitaminute, we're missing a certain someone. Where's Em -

(Just then, Sonny arrives and sits down next to them, Jazz Hands a-waving.)

Sonny: Whooo! Whooo! Whoooooo!!! Whoo-hhhaahhh!! Yeah! Y - yeah! What's up, ladies! What's - how you - what's up?!

Robin (taken aback) : Sonny.

Sonny: Gold star! (laughs, points to Robin, turns to Dr. Lee) Gold - gold frickin' - star - she, she got it in one -

Dr. Lee (laughing along with Sonny) : Aaaaahhhh! You crazy bitch! Aaaahhh!!

Sonny: Aaaahhhh!! Whoooooo!! (waves Jazz Hands at Dr. Lee) I don't even know what, what you are, some kind of alien - okay - we gotta, yeah, we gotta slam that, suck, lick - we gotta - hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, wo - ladies - how you all doin'? How you, how's - what's goin' on? How's your week? How's your week?!

Robin: You know, I think we were expecting Emily -

Sonny: How's your week?! How's your week?! Whooooooo!!

Dr. Lee: Waaaaahhhhh!!

Sonny: Whooooo!!

Lainey/Louise: No, no, this is okay, it's okay!

Liz/Robin: It is?

Lainey/Louise: It's, yes, we should, Sonny should be here, he cared about Justus too. By the way, I didn't really know Justus, you all probably knew him much better, we were acquaintances, so, really, whatever happens tonight, or, or soon in the future, I could pretty much just do, be with anybody, it wouldn't, it's not about...whoring.

Liz: You dated Justus like eighteen times in a year.

Lainey/Louise: Sorry?

Robin: Lainey, we saw you out on dates with him at the Metro Court. You and Justus were dating.

Lainey/Louise: Say what? (laughs) Oh, girl, that's the Sustiva talking! Girl, you crazy! Shots! We need shots! Robin needs extra! Yeow!

Sonny: Ow! Ooowww!!

Dr. Lee: Aaaaahhhh!!

Liz (improvising) : So...Sonny.

Sonny (laughing and drinking) : Elizabeth.

Liz: How is -

Sonny: Elizabeth.

Liz: Ye - yeah?

Sonny: Elizabeth. Elizabeth.

Liz: Yes?

Sonny: Elizabeth! Elizabeth!!

Liz/Robin: What?

Sonny (pounding table rhythmically) : Elizabeth! Elizabeth! (turning to each woman) Robin! Lou - Lainey! Y - whoever you are! I have no idea! Ling Ling! A-and...


Lainey/Louise: Sonny! Whoooo!!

(The howling trio bursts into drunken laughter.)

Liz (to Robin) : Ripley, I'm scared.

Robin (staring into her shotglass) : Newt, stay close.

Sonny (waving drink, holding forth) : ...You know what, you know, who I like, I like that...for music? I like, I like that - I like that Miami Sound Machine. They're, you might not, might not have heard of them, they're a new group, they're...regional...acquired...taste...but I, I like them. They are great. I like them! I love them! Them and, and that, that Bryan Adams. Young, he's young, but he's, he's got talent. You, you, Lainey, what, what music, what soul music, do you like?

Lainey: Well, I -

Sonny: I like that band Living Colour! "The Glamour Boys!" Da-da-da! Ha ha! Whooo!!

Dr. Lee: Aaaaaahhhhh!! gomen nasai, gomen nasai.

Sonny: You like, you - you got a thing for Billy Ocean, don't you - Lainey?

Lainey (laughing) : Oh! Ha, no -

Sonny: You - aaaaahhhh - you got it! Ha ha! Aaahhh! You got a thing! You, I can see it, I can see it, you don't lie, don't lie, you can't, can't lie, my, I, my retinas burn through the lies, they eat 'em! They eat the lies! You wild bitch! Burn through to the truth! Aaahahaha! Whoo! No, no, really. No, this is, I'm coming from...a sincere. Place. What - what men - what boys do you like, ladies?

Liz: I'm not comfortable with this -

Lainey/Louise: Why you gotta play it like a little bitch, Elizabeth? This is for Justus!

Sonny (laughing) : ...You know when I was a kid, my mother, she was your age, she begged and borrowed! On the streets! Whoo! Yeah! Yeah, she...worked for scraps! Hahahahaaaa! Couldn't have no, no...liberation! Lib! Women's lib! Begged and borrowed and scraped and my stepfather, his name was Deke, he beat the hell out of her. Black eyes everyday! Whoo! And, and he put me in a closet - yeah! Yeah! In a closet, and he - and so I gave her the keys to the car, and -

Dr. Lee: Sooonnnyyyy!! Whaaaaahhhh!!

Sonny (laughing) : Aaaahhhh! Whooo!! Don't interrupt me! (pounding table) Elizabeth! Robin! Ling Ling! Lainey!

Robin (standing) : Okay, this is, I gotta -

Sonny: Robin.

Robin: No, Sonny.

Sonny: Robin. Robin! Robin!! Robin! Robin! (joined in by Lainey and Dr. Lee) ROBIN! ROBIN! ROBIN! You have to - come here - you need to, we have to slam and lick!

Oh, lord. General Hospital, the show which finally shows us the realities of that everyday situation we've all been in at least once in our lives - when our bipolar, psychotic, crimeboss boyfriend twice our age shows up to crash our Whores Night at Jake's and make all our friends feel awkward and funny. That was some funny shit. They could keep this bipolar Sonny story going forever and I would never get bored. His acting is hilarious. The bug eyes, the "I saw a ghost!" face, it's great. Motherfucker looks like Ichabod Crane in the Sleepy Hollow Disney film. It's a package, it's magic, it's jazz hands magic! And Ric - well, Ric's apparent rationale of "get Sonny drunk and crazy enough until he either sodomizes me or has to be committed, so I can finally help him" is so batshit crazy and yet so perfectly batshit crazy Ric Lansing that it is magic to watch too. I love how Ric turns into "The Uppity Tourist Who Demands Special Service From The Hotel Management" in all his scenes with Max.

Ric: Oh, okay, Max! Okay, okay, okay! That's fine, Max, don't let Sonny drive his own car! Like a man! He's - what kind of lightweight are you, Max, Sonny knows his limit! What - you - you got a problem, Max? You got a problem? You got a problem with me? You're the employee, Max! You're the employee! I am the customer! I'm the customer, Max! I'm - I'm your - you know what, how about we rename the house, Max? How about that? How about we call 'Maxadu?' How about that? We, we can make the business, we can call it 'Max Limited.' How about the whole town becomes Port Max? How about that, Max? Because it's just your world, Max, it's just your world, and, and, and, and me and Sonny, we, we just live in it! Shut the fuck up, Max! Get me a - I want a Shirley Temple! Go into the kitchen and make it! Like my mother!

Oh, Ric. Such an ass. Such a fucking crazy lunatic psycho ass. But it's so funny.

Why the fuck were they letting Lulu into supposedly hardass Jake's? Does not compute. Jake's has gone downhill like everything else in town.

Look into Lorenzo's eyes. You can tell he is beginning to suspect Skye is a man.

Thank God Manny took time to shave in between his stalking. I'm the only one that saw that, I guess. Whatever.

Okay, so this one's short. Sorry. Been a long week, very busy, and I do three shows so unlike some people I probably won't be able to manage all three daily. But I'll try to keep up on 'em all as regularly as I can and I hope that's okay. I have a lot to say about DOOL and the newly-infamous K___ B___, who I think can now be written about but I'm not sure. We'll get to that tonight, maybe. As OLTL circles the drain, that show just keeps getting shockingly better. It's down to Patch! Patch and Bryan Dattilo's yummy 'used-to-be-chubby' chest! Okay, maybe not Bryan Dattilo. But I enjoyed him. Okay. Anyway.

1 comment:

mrsd said...

Look into Lorenzo's eyes. You can tell he is beginning to suspect Skye is a man.