Jun 14, 2006

SPECIAL : GH - Wednesday

And now for some extra fun my friend Jase (forever bringing the fire and the heat! He's gonna hate me for that) shares his thoughts on General Hospital

Sam's Little Mermaid top looks gross. Okay? It's ugly and loud and it looks gross. To me it seems like she's been wearing it for weeks and maybe she has, and it just looks dirty and like it radiates the smell of age and unwashed, unslept mob ho.



Jason: Seriously, you're kinda rank



Sam: Oh, Jason, you and your social inadequacies! It's okay, I forgive you. Will you forgive me for contemplating not forgiving you?

And for God's sake I hate all their sleep-making scenes and her yowling and screeching. And Jesus, Jason, I've said it before, you are a mob boss now, you retard, so put on another shirt. Put on a dress shirt. A suit. Goddamnit. Your "business" is not based around a lucrative lawn-mowing/gardening front! I hate them both so much. I did love the look on her face when she saw Liz with Jason though (and I am no Jiz fan either) . She absolutely thought they were Dipping It Low and Picking It Up Slow. And maybe they should be, even if I like L&L2. The crazy couples rag the show is doing with L&L2, Patrick, Robin, etc. is actually kind of interesting.

Look at Dillon just outright lying to Georgie. "Sure, I was at your graduation. Oh, yeah, uh, I was in the back, uhhh...behind the, the, uh, the speakers." "What speakers?" "Joo know! Joo know! You crazy, Georgie!" (grabs her nose) Scott Clifton is suddenly too blond.

Carly, you dirty babysnatching ho. "Don't assume we're going to lose everything. If you just get us another baby you can still ride my cooter coaster! Riiiide it. Mah pony."

Nurse Jemima Stereotype (a.k.a. Epiphany) is awfully blase about Lucky's addiction. "Yeah, he's hooked on junk he got here. I think you should divorce him. BTW, you're on call for the next eight hours. Little white bitch."

Scorpios! At Georgie's graduation! Together! With Robert! Wow. I'm impressed.

Lady Jane (soothing Jax) : ...There was a hole in ya haaahhtt, son. And Courtney almost filled that. And then everything went so wrong, and she broke ya haaahhtt, and she whored about town like a common dock slooze, desperate for men to fill her holes, any holes, p'raps two at a time, twice on Tuesdays, two for 't' if you will, all holes filled with hard cock, desperate to get it where she could, hot for manbone like a dirty, dirty shaggy dog...

"I think for Carly it's all about Little John." Ding ding fucking ding, dumbass.

I would like Nikolas' Alfred Pennyworth butler if he had actually existed before several months ago. But I like the Cassadines sitting around Wyndemere, even if Nik is still no great prize. You know his dumb ass will hire Maxie, fucking Paris Hilton Maxie as the nanny too. Like hiring the Hamburglar to run McDonald's! You know she will cut that baby and snort him in lines! Goofy little bitch with her adamantium heart.

Awwww, Robert dancing with Lulu in "his dearest friend's" stead! So cute. So sweet. If only they acted like each other's dearest friends these days.

-Jase

2 comments:

Ronda said...

This almost made me spit out Gatorade on my work computer. HILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the funniest things I have read all day. "Hiring the Hamburgalar to run McDonalds" left me WEAK.
And I was in tears after the Epiphany part. You guys crack me up, keep it coming.