OLTL - Mon/Tues - Here Comes The Crackdown
Disclaimer: This comedic sketch has absolutely no basis in reality as regards Trevor St. John, "Todd Manning," Roger Howarth, or Gizmo the Mogwai. It also has absolutely no basis in my feelings towards Trevor St. John - he's actually one of my favorite actors on the show, even if I don't care for the hypothetical pairing of Todd and Evangeline either. I respect the feelings of those who enjoy the characters' chemistry; this sketch is merely a farcical response to some of the strong negative fan reactions and outcry I've noticed towards this particular storyline playing out on "One Life to Live." I like Trevor St. John a lot and wish him nothing but continued success and years of longevity on "One Life to Live" and in show business, and I hope he wouldn't beat me up if he read this. I am also sure he is probably a very good drummer, even if I have never heard him perform. I myself cannot drum at all. I also happen to think that Renee Elise Goldsberry is a lovely woman and actress with a lovely singing voice, even if I don't care for Evangeline Williamson. I'm pretty sure she could beat me up too. I bear neither her, nor Mr. St John, any personal ill will whatsoever. The antagonist in this sketch may be a murderous, homophobic, evil bastard, but I am not, and as a gay male myself I am sure that Glenn Close movie was wonderful and touching and incredibly socially relevant. Finally, Gizmo the Mogwai is in reality a wonderful, cuddly friend to you and me who must not be fed after midnight. Thank you, and God bless.
Scene: Night. Trevor St. John sits alone in the darkness of his posh New York pleasuredome, deep in thought.
I wonder which drums have the better sound for me and Nene's next gig. Conga? No! Snare? No! No! These decisions are going to break me! I have to do better! Do better, Trevor! Feel the drumbeat inside! Nnnaaahh!!
Just then, a solitary figure emerges from the gloomy darkness.
Hey, Trevor.
(gasp) Who goes there?!
Don't you recognize me, brah? It ain't been so long...don't you recognize my voice? Here, let me turn on a light...
klik!
Y...you!
Yeah. What up.
H-hey...hey, man. I...I wasn't expecting company. How...h-how long have you been back in town?
Long enough, brah, long enough. You look good, Trevor. I like what you've done with the place. I like your rims. Like your car, too. Yeah, I saw it. Nice, roomy. Family size, sure, but it still got style, flash...lookin' large, livin' large, huh? Tell me somethin' Trevor: how you livin'? How you like it? All this posh?
I...I'm livin' well, man. I like it. I like it a lot.
And you remember where you got it from, don't you? Who made it all possible? You remember who your candyman is?
A-absolutely, man. Absolutely. I owe you everything, man. Without you I-I'd be nowhere. Me and my family owe you so much.
I wonder which drums have the better sound for me and Nene's next gig. Conga? No! Snare? No! No! These decisions are going to break me! I have to do better! Do better, Trevor! Feel the drumbeat inside! Nnnaaahh!!Just then, a solitary figure emerges from the gloomy darkness.
Hey, Trevor.
(gasp) Who goes there?!
Don't you recognize me, brah? It ain't been so long...don't you recognize my voice? Here, let me turn on a light... 
klik!
Y...you!
Yeah. What up.
H-hey...hey, man. I...I wasn't expecting company. How...h-how long have you been back in town?
Long enough, brah, long enough. You look good, Trevor. I like what you've done with the place. I like your rims. Like your car, too. Yeah, I saw it. Nice, roomy. Family size, sure, but it still got style, flash...lookin' large, livin' large, huh? Tell me somethin' Trevor: how you livin'? How you like it? All this posh?
I...I'm livin' well, man. I like it. I like it a lot.
And you remember where you got it from, don't you? Who made it all possible? You remember who your candyman is?
A-absolutely, man. Absolutely. I owe you everything, man. Without you I-I'd be nowhere. Me and my family owe you so much.