Aug 29, 2006

OLTL - Dan Gauthier: Greco-Roman Ideal or God Made Flesh? SAVE HIM!

Hi there, folks. Dan Gauthier's White Speedo here. You may know me from such work as this photo. I've come to rap with you kids today to discuss a pressing matter of great urgency. No, it's not about me - my time is gone now. It's all cheapo European work for me, and the men are usually sweaty French bears. It's about my buddy Dan. Look at him up there. So resolute. Eyes like an eagle. Basket of a Spanish racing horse! Mmmmm, sooky sooky now.

Anyway, as I was saying...this is about my old pal, Dan. Dan, Dan, Dan. Dan, my friend! We've had many great adventures together! It's too late for me...but not for you! Not for you! Not if you folks out there help. You see, ABC Daytime has...fired Our Dan.


I know, y'all. I know! I know!!

But here's where we draw the line. For Dan. For Teen Witch. For that skin flick he did. For Melrose Place. And for Kevin, y'all. You see, there is something you can do, if you listen to your old buddy White Speedo. First of all, you can go to the Campaign for Kevin website and follow all the crazy instructions. Secondly, you can email Brian Frons and Frank Valentini directly at and Heck, you could even try their boss at And call the official One Life to Live phone comment line at 212-456-3338 and put the motherfuckers on blast! Tell them White Speedo sent you! Don't call or write just once, either! Repetition is important! Stalk the motherfuckers! Play it like a bill collector! Day after day! All night long, like Vince Vaughn, like Lionel Ritchie! Heed White Speedo! Save Dan! Remember the Alamo! Surrender Dorothy!

The remainder of Dan's clothes are depending on you.


Dan's Socks said...

what? was Kevin taking up to much of Evangeline's screentime?

I mean, really, she's criminally underused.

Fuckin ABCD - assholes all around.

mcmolly said...

Damn, I just cried out a contact laughing so hard. That alone is worth the time and stamp of a couple more letters. Consider it done.