Aug 8, 2006

Y&R - Tuesday - Snip, snip, EuNeil

I apologize now for the excessive amount of caps in this post. Read at your own risk.

SOME WANT IT ALLLL BUT I DON'T WANT NOTHIN' AT ALLLLLL IF IT AIN'T YOU BABAAAAY IF I AIN'T GOT YOU BABAAAAAAY [HE LOVES YOU, LILY, GIVE HIM A CHANCE!]
SOME PEOPLE WANT DIAMOND RINGS [SHE DOESN'T NEED DIAMOND RINGS, SHE NEEDS HER DANIEL!], SOME JUST WANT EVERYTHING BUT EVERYTHING MEANS NOTHIN' IF I AIN'T GOT YOOOOOOOOU [HER WORLD IS NOTHING WITH HIM, COME ON!]

SOME PEOPLE NEED THREE DOZEN ROSES [ONE ROSE, MAYBE TWO. A DOZEN, ONE DOZEN AND WE'RE COPACETIC!] THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE YOU LOVE HIM
HAND ME THE WORLD ON A SILVER PLATTER [SHE'LL TAKE BRONZE, IT'S ALL GOOD!] AND WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE WITH NO ONE TO SHARE WITH NO WHO TRULLEEEE CAAAARE FOR MEEEEEE [SHE CAN'T DO IT ALONE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? Why won't you understand?!]


IF I AIN'T GOT CHA WITH ME BAAAAABAY
Oooooh, OOOOOhh, [this is the part where Alicia starts to break down a bit] see nothing in this whoooole wide world, if I ain't got cha with me BAAAAaaaaaay

If...I ain't got cha...with me...babaaaaay...

[silently weeping]

Listen to it for yourself and tell me that you don't cry too! If you don't you're a soulless creature--GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OUT!

Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You - free MP3 -
*dead link*

Wow, wow, WOW, your son's life is literally FALLING APART around him and all it takes is a fucking TEXT MESSAGE from NICK for you to drop Daniel and go RUNNING to your Newman cock? You're PITIFUL, Phyllis.

Phyllis has been in 4 relationships on this show, Danny, Jack, Damon and Nick. [Clair Huxtable]And LET THE RECORD SHOW[/Clair Huxtable] never before has she played second fiddle to her significant other. Not with Danny or Damon or Jack most importantly, importantly because Jack is by far the most layered and dynamic screen partner she's ever had. That's not a dig at Nick or the other two, it's just that Jack is a multi-layered character with tons of history played by a fantastic actor. And he never, not once overpowered her in a storyline. They were screen PARTNERS. She didn't run around town going "Oh, Jack,oh, Jack, Jack, Jack.". No, she remained her own person throughout that relationship. Why is she so needy and useless right now? It makes no sense and is completely unacceptable.

I don't know whether to revoke your Bitch Card or your Edge Card. Decisions, decisions. How about BOTH?! Yeah, that's right. THAT'S RIGHT!



You all realize I'm doing this while knowing full well that she's out of town, right? Even de-clawed she's still kinda scary. A little.

HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT! Neil, you don't DESERVE a PENIS!

>snip!<

That's right, MOTHERFUCKER! It's gone! I just went Lorena Bobbitt on your ass! And we thought you were a eunuch before, now it's FOR REAL.

12 comments:

Smart Alec said...

Oh Jesus, I'm on the floor! Go right ahead and deny Phil her bitch card. I enjoy enjoy her regardless of who she's with, but damnit, no more spinless Newman baby grower. Ha! Claire Huckstable. Double ha! Neil doesn't deserve a penis. The man is being so passive aggressive it grates.

Kia112 said...

I was totally gonna LimeWire that song. No need now...

OK, c'mon Daniel and Lily. Get it together. A day or two, that's all they need apart, right? They are literally killing me right now. Remember your vows. ::impersonating dead Mufasa in the sky:: Remember, remember, remember...

Kia said...

Oh, and Darn, check out my MySpace page under the heroes section. There's a video of John Mayer playing one of the most awesomest songs ever. Don't know if you've heard it or not.

Darn said...

Oh wow, I've never heard/seen that before. Love John Mayer. I was just about to put my headphones on and fall asleep to "Tori". And putting a face to the name, Hiiiiii Kia!

OK, c'mon Daniel and Lily. Get it together. A day or two, that's all they need apart, right? They are literally killing me right now. Remember your vows. ::impersonating dead Mufasa in the sky:: Remember, remember, remember...

Know what I mean? A day is totally enough time to forgive drugging and near rape. Get some perspective, Lily!

I enjoy enjoy her regardless of who she's with, but damnit, no more spinless Newman baby grower.

Seriously. It's like she's given up living to keep up with Nick. It's so pathetic looking. I'm so glad MS is on vacation right now.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely hate what they're doing to Phylis right now. Damn I wish she was with Jack.

crc said...

Darn, I don't think you have to waste your time cutting off Neil's penis, because the only way to explain why he was all up on Dru, looking so hot and so fly, has to be because he already doesn't have one.

Regarding Phyllis... I'm starting to pass some of the blame on Michelle Stafford, too. Maybe it's because she's tired since she's on every single day, but she just stopped bring that edge. Or, it could be that Joshua Morrow is bringing her down to his level. Scary!

Demig said...

I agree withcha Darn about denying and revoking her cards. But, could you at least put her on probation/parole. Naw, I change my mind, I now consider her Sharin'2.0 with all the bugs and data gliches. Bitch! and not in the good way.

When did Kneel ever had a penis for anyone to snip at! *Sucks*

And Darn, there be mor Alicia/Lily pulling on the heart strings today.

kavan30013 said...

Taking away Phyllis bitch and edge card excellent. She deserves to lose both. And Darn don't be afraid of her if she saw you doing it she'd just start crying.

CRC totally agree on MS. She's making some weird and totally questionable choices.

jfdb said...

I'm with you on the Alicia love. I'm praying for a little Whitney "I wanna dance with somebody" when Lily is feeling better. I don't know why but pre-coke Whitney and Davetta together feels like magic to me.

Phyllis, honey, baby, sweetie, what Darn did was mean, but you left him no choice. We'll be happy to return it to you when you SNAP OUT OF IT! Loveyoukisses.

smartyshorts said...

We could all use a little Pre-Crack whitney right about now.

How will I know if he really loves me?
I say a prayer with ever-y heart beat.

When Dru leaned over and said "No, that's it...Neil" Sounded like she was putting him on NOTICE.

I'm tired of Neil. Tired Tired SICK and Tired!

I hope there's a quart of tequila and some really primo blow in it. We're all going to need it.

smartyshorts said...

In the reliquary I mean, not in Neil. He's full of old liverwurst.

Darn said...

Neil is full of shit, that's what he's full of.

And yeah, Neil doesn't have a penis, never has, I just did that as a courteous. Lily is a prime example that the man can't procreate even when he has a chance to. HATE.

Shit, maybe I should have put Whit in the Rick James post. There's always next time! BOBBEEEE!