Aug 1, 2006

Y&R - Tuesday - Hey Zeus!

Did I stumble onto a rerun of I Love Lucy? Sure, Nick isn't Latino but Phyllis is a loony redhead. Need we see the playful banter and domestic fun of the relationship borne of an illicit affair? Nick and Phyllis haven't quite earned that right.



Nick: Feeeeeeeelees, wha did shu doo?
Phyllis: WAHHHHH! Niiiicky!
Nick: Feelees, I no shu did sumting!
Phyllis: Nicky! I--I burned the roast!
Nick: Oh, ho, ho, Feelees, dat's OK!
Phyllis: And used the rent money to invest in NVP!
Nick: Oh, Feelees! S'ok, we cun do sumting bout dat!
Phyllis: And I might have ran someone over!
Nick: Wha? FEELEES! How cood shu?
Phyllis: And maybe I drugged some guy, made him think we slept together and am now carrying a baby I know isn't his yet I'm telling him it is to ensnare him for the rest of his life! WAAAAAAAAH!!!
And now this DaVinci Code bullshit. If only Brad had an unfortunate mullet-y type haircut then we'd be in business.

Brad
: They want the reliquary!

Victoria: Is that what this is about? A container for sacred relics? Containers that can exhibit the bones and relics of saints? Sacred relics that have long been important to both Hindus and Buddhists? That became an important part of Christian rituals from about the 4th century on? That provided a means of protecting and displaying holy relics, and were to have miraculous powers of intercession? That range in size from simple pendants or rings to coffin-like containers to very elaborate ossuaries? Many were designed with portability in mind, often being exhibited in public or carried in procession on the saint's feast day or on other holy days!

Mmmm, exposition!

Colleen is just walking verbal diarrhea, isn't she? You could tell her KFC's secret recipe and she'd shout "It's PEOPLE!" from the rooftops. Bitch needs a muzzle.

So what do we call Brad's mom? Abacus? Oh and she is so terrible. Sure, she just met her grandchildren and her daughter-in-law but shit, she's in a jet, a woman's gotta relax! Granddaughter wants to get to know you? Honey, Grandma is tired! It is NAP TIME! She can't be bored with "meeting her family" or "having an honest reaction", the woman is damn near 90 (though she looks barely 60, that's where naps get you! Go to sleep, Colleen!)! Let her alone!

Enough of this illogical story. If they want the reliquary, give them the fucking reliquary. Ἰησοῦς Χριστός!

Goodness, don't let the blind woman make coffee! "It's so nice to see you, Victor! You look wonderful! Let's view the sunset, together! Can you pass me my reading glasses? I'm going to watch Desperate Housewives, have you seen the new one? I'm going to buy binoculars to watch birds with my eyesight!". Who writes this shit?

Paul and LadySpy, that movie you're watching has awful cinematography. There's no plot either! Just some guy sitting in a chair. Oh, I think it's a porn. A gay porn. Unless you're into that I don't think you're gonna like what happens next...


"Jaaaaaaaay Teeeeeee! Bad boy ready for some milkin'?"

9 comments:

arugula said...

It's always COMEDY GOLD when Paul starts dectivating. Him walking around the construction site with that gun -- reminded me of an old episode of Charlie's Angels.

And yeah, Colleen needs to be sprayed with a big can of STFU. Man, that girl is a blabbermouth!

So here's how everyone in GC is going to figure out the whole George/Brad/JT/Sharon story really fast:
Nick tells Phyllis, Phyllis tells Michael, Michael tells Kevin, Kevin tells Daniel, Daniel tells Lily, Lily tells Dru, Dru tells Neil but Neil won't listen, so then Dru runs around telling everyone else in town who doesn't already know.

I wonder how Assley is going to react? Or does she already know since she OK'd the trip for RoboTot?

arugula ... again said...

Oh, and if it's so easy for Colleen to talk to BradGeorge on the phone, why couldn't she just call him first to see if it was ok to spill the beans to Paul?

Darn said...

Because for some reason they've made Colleen the Town Crier. It is SERIOUSLY damaging her character. Literally everyday she is telling someone something she shouldn't. It's so ridiculous.

Nick tells Phyllis, Phyllis tells Michael, Michael tells Kevin, Kevin tells Daniel, Daniel tells Lily, Lily tells Dru, Dru tells Neil but Neil won't listen, so then Dru runs around telling everyone else in town who doesn't already know.

HEH!

crc said...

I can totally picture Y&R doing a "I Love Lucy" fantasy with Nick and Phyllis for another "cute moment" and it's all your fault, Darn.

smartyshorts said...

Why do I read this blog at work? I know it's bad news for my bladder and my professionalism. Nothing like having someone come up behind you unexpectedly to see...Jay Tee in his BadSub mask.
People are starting to wonder about me. And about how I seem to be getting around the web blocks on porn at the office.

When Paul picked up the gag JT had been wearing I was waiting for him to say "I still feel his drool, he must be close" because ICK!
And what of Sharin's did they find? A track from her weave?

Smart Alec said...

Darn, you doubt Paul's love for gay porn? The man has been WILLINGLY "working" (the brain cell count is decidedly low, even combined) with JT for awhile now. If that isn't proof enough, well, he was married to Christine.

I hate Colleen. I always have, but this recast is ridiculous. Dad! JT! Lily! Kevin! Daniel! Lassie! C'meer gurl! I've got a seecret to tell you! All her blabbing reminds me of those skits on Conan were a celebrity sits in what looks like a jail cell, smoking or drinking, and the announcer whispers "Seeecretttts" and said celebrity admits to something bizzare and hilarious - only with Colleen, not so much.

Darn said...

Darn, you doubt Paul's love for gay porn?

Well, no. But I keep going on people are gonna think I think EVERYONE is gay (which I do sometimes don't tell anybody) and that's not good.

I can totally picture Y&R doing a "I Love Lucy" fantasy with Nick and Phyllis for another "cute moment" and it's all your fault, Darn.

Next week on Y&R! Phyllis overinvests in frozen meats! Hilarity ensues!

Why do I read this blog at work? I know it's bad news for my bladder and my professionalism. Nothing like having someone come up behind you unexpectedly to see...Jay Tee in his BadSub mask.

First your bladder, now your job. Check and check.

lizzbert said...

More! More! More! More!

Darn said...

Hehe. It's coming. Life has been CRAZY!