Aug 25, 2006

Y&R - Friday - Delicious

PHOOOOOMP! BOOMPPPPP!
MMMMMMMFUM!


Anybody else hear that?

I'm fairly certain that was the sound of Dru spilling out of her dress and into my living room. I'm fairly fucking certain. Hot damn, did VR look stunning or what? And she's how old? And Neil is how stupid?

Do you not get it, Carmen? Dru will. Beat. Yo. Ass!

This is not an opinion, this is not a promise, this is not a proposal, this is fact. The sun rises in the east, your ass gets beat in the west! I'm sorry but it's true!

Well, let me tell you somethin' Neil Winters, you ain't playin' me! You ain't playin' Drucilla and I ain't havin' it!


SHE'S NOT HAVIN' IIIIIIIIIT, MOTHERFUCKER! Uh-uh, no sir. Ooooooh, you in so much trouble. Ooooooooh!



How bombass was Dru spying on those heathens with her binoculars? How does that not make her a winner in life? She is THE winner. One and only. [Rocky jog]




Gloria
: I will never forgive you for what you've done, Jack. Never.

Like he needs or desires your fucking forgiveness, you clown-faced back alley whore (that's what you should have said, Jack but good job, good job).

Ya know, some days I long for the days of Chrstine and her brand of boring and then, then I see her face and "No, not really." Moving on.

I've decided that Lynn Marie Latham has no great love for Brad, she merely saw a character on canvas with a shady past, a past that she could create. That seems to be her MO, creating new characters using the current cast. She merely pays lip service to the past and that can only sustain your audience for so long. Thankfully the show has a lot of built up goodwill but you can only survive on that for so long.

Oh no, Victor, you're not seeing angels, that's just Phyllis as Virgin Mary. I suppose if Mary Magdalene can go from Jesus' bride to a common whore then a psychotic homewrecker can have an immaculate conception. Call the networks! We've got a miracle here!

I swear to God everytime Victor is onscreen I feel like I'm watching a horrible sitcom called...



I know that's completely tasteless of me and I apologize. But the last time I had taste was in the womb, so really.

And In Defense of Zapato: He didn't want the Robotot OR Psycho In The Making holding him, he wanted his Victor back! He missed you! He appreciated the letters and the phonecalls but there's nothing like having you rub his belly. Family? Come on, Victor, we know who's your real family here. I heard Nikki was fucking Miguel. On the china! That's just what I heard.

9 comments:

Smart Alec said...

Dear Phyllis,

Life as an independent woman (apologies to everyone who just had a bad Destiny's Child flash) is ovah. Done. Finished. Caput. Those eyes you kept making as Nick hmmed and hawhed his way through the divorce explanation? "It's what Sharon wanted, I swear!, It wasn't my fault Dadda! You better get used to them b/c from now on you'll be known in polite circles as St. Phyllis of the Perpetual Eye roll. Grrr. Why oh why couldn't the baby be Jack's?

As always, wonderful piece Darn :)

Darn said...

Thanks! And seriously, I can't believe he said "Sharon insisted." with Phyllis RIGHT THERE! And she stood there smiling. Basically Nick said that if Sharon hadn't wanted it they would still be married. And Phyllis doesn't question this? Not only is it unbelieveable for Phyllis, it's unbelieveable for ANY woman in that situation.

arugula said...

Yeah that was a whole bunch of uncomfortable right there. Nick and Sharon basically split up 2 weeks ago, then Sharon got kidnapped, then Nick brings Phyllis to his parents house for a party that Sharon planned. Ouch! That wouldn't be a "fun party" for ANY of those folks in real life.

I did kind of enjoy all the schmoopie stuff with BradGeorge and Victoothy ONLY BECAUSE it had to be really bothering Sharon. She HAD to be thinking, "Ok, so everyone in this room will be getting some tonight except for me, the kids, and Zapato." Ha!

Dee said...

The sun rises in the east, your ass gets beat in the west!

HOLLER!


ITA with everything else though. On point, as usual. ;D

books said...

I couldn't agree more about Christine's character. She is so one dimensional. She has good hair - that's about it. One day I figured out she her Dad is a big guy over there and it all fit together. Biology runs deeper than talent.

books said...

p.s.

As much as everyone hates SHaron (I don't hate her), I couldn't help but feel for her. She's barely hanging on then sees preggo self-righteous Phillyis making nice w/her boy and Brad and Vicky back in makin' love all night land. Oh Gosh - Vicki's line "I can't wait to go to bed!" YUCK!

smartyshorts said...

I would've like to have seen MORE of the dress. Like how Dru's BaDonkaDonk looked in it. But alas, just seeing the Puppies in the dress will have to be enough. TPTB probably know that showing a full length shot of The Dress would've caused heart failure in too many viewers. We are not ready for THAT much fabulosity.

And Holy HELL I was even loving the straightened hair, which I'm not usually a big fan of on Dru.

Phyllis, obviously the LilBastard has picked up on you and his Dad getting all snuggly bear schmooptified over the vegetable tray, stop trying to make dumbass conversation with the kid. It demeans you both.

Phyllis:"So Noah, how tall are you now?"

Noah:"Is there a height requirement for banging a Newman?"

And ClackClackMarmFace was totally trying to stick it to Sharin getting all lovey dovey with Beorge. I know once they left she was like "Hands off Cylon. I've still got your balls in my safe."

HappyFun Victor is only as good as the reactions to him.

STFUG:"I will NEVER forgive you for this Jaaaacckkk, NEVER."

John Abbot Jr;"Okay. Anyone want some cake?"

Jack should start having people refer to him as John Abbot Jr. Gloria won't be able to blink for the buggedness of her eyes.

kavan30013 said...

I think you may be onto something about LML and Brad. It really feels like she's created a whole new character. At times it feels like the show is full of new characters with old names. Very interesting insight.

Kaboom said...

As usual, ITA with ya re: Friday's ep, Darn. Instead of The Bug making sporadic appearance I would prefer John Silva. At least he can act.

VR in that dress was Fierce. That woman is seriously making me doubt my heterosexuality, I can't look away from her!

I FF'd the Newman Reunion, I just had to, all I saw anyway was Phyllis smiling politely and Toothy all over the Beorge as Sharon fidgeted. Ugh.