Aug 14, 2006

Y&R - Monday - Making a Grown Man Cry

Alright, I have a feeling this week is gonna be split between shit I absolutely hate and stuff I adore beyond description. Let's get the Shitty Shitty Shit Shit out of the way.



Paul
: We have a location for the shipping container!
Brad: Fantastic.
Paul: And Sharon may be there!
Brad: Spectacular.
Paul: And Sharon may, just may, be alive!
Brad: Awe-inspiring.

"Hey, Don, let's play that a little more low-key next time. Go!"

Two things this story asks us to do in spades, A) Care for Sharon, which, no. No, thank you, I'll have that without mayo. B) Asks us to buy the idea of these people willing to MURDER for this thing yet being dumb enough to take a replica that was put together in 2 hours time. 70 years of murder and death and kidnappings galore and they're gonna buy THIS TRINKET THAT SUDDEN ART HISTORIAN CLACKCLACKFUCKINGNARMFACE PUT TOGETHER BETWEEN CLEANING THOSE SPEARS SHE CALLS TEETH AND REFEREEING HER CYLON HUSBAND AND CRO-MAGNON BROTHER.

Oh, totally buy it. Totally. I feel like Farrah Fawcett in The Burning Bed right about now. Slap, slap and I keep coming back for more. Don't make me set you ablaze, show.

Lines Gloria Said In My Head

Gloria: John WILL get better! John WILL come home! And I, I Gloria ABBOTT, WILL have MY HUSBAND BACK! And BY GOD if that means I have to prop his corpse up like that nice Mr. Lomax I WILL!


Gloria: Jill, Jill, I know he WAS your husband, everyone knows I AM his wife now and that you WERE his wife long, long ago!

Jill: Okay, and...?

Gloria: OH NOTHING, I merely wanted to reiterate that for the viewing audience, "Hello, my darling fans! Kisses!".

Audience: Die.


Katherine: I'm very impressed with the way you're handling things.

Gloria: As well you should BE. Under similar dire circumstances I would have EATEN an orderly BY NOW! Self-control, thy name is GLORIA ABBOTT!

Gloria: WHERE IS THE NICU?! MAMAHUNRGY!

Now For The Good Shit,
Breathe It In


Katherine, oh Kay, my love. You spin gold into...more gold type things. My point is that you're incredible and children should be made to clean your feet.

But the scene, the scene that got to me was Jill and John. Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch. When she said Gloria is like her, yeah, okay, in some ways, Jill's better but I love the idea that John went for someone like Gloria because she reminded him of Jill. Jess Walton was just magnificent. I've only been watching Y&R for 5-6 years but just looking at her face you could see their decades of history. The scene was exceptionally written and somethings you just can't write, you can't write history but it was there in spades. Sniff. Stupid show.

Ashley and Jack being all brother and sister-like never loses.

Dru, alone, half-drunk and Victoria Rowell earning one easy ass paycheck. What's not to love?

4 comments:

crc said...

Nothing's better than the smell of the Good Shit! INHALE

As for the bad...

I bet Victoria's teeth came in handy while fixin' that reliquary. What's so hilarious is how after all the trouble, it finally dawns on Brad that perhaps the bad guys don't want the piece of crap, but what's inside. You can actually see a lightbulb light up. Same thing with Paul. LOL!

Smart Alec said...

Awesome. You are hilarious!

jfdb said...

Ugh, preach it.

The only deserving mention of this entire month (unless Dru finds her bookcase again) will be JW, JC, and PB competing for best everything. I don't even want to think about BugEyes buzzing around their brilliance.

I bow down to Jill and John's scenes and Jack and John's scenes on tom. US ep. Get the tissues, Darn, you're in for a rocky ride.

arugula said...

That was one might big glass of wine Dru poured herself ... a couple of times. I tell ya, Dru, Neil is just not worth the bother.

I will just HATE the writers if they brought John back to the show just to kill him off. That will suck.