Aug 16, 2006

Y&R - Wednesday - %$#^@!

SURE, I RECORD THE SHOW BUT, BUT, BUT I RECORD IT ON MUTE! I mean, What The Fuck, Dumbass? GAH!

Here is how I assume things went down.

Paul and Brad -- I bet my TV put itself on mute when it saw those assholes in the first scene.

Paul: So yeah.
Brad: I know, I know.
Paul: Nazis? Really?
Brad: I don't know. I'm Jewish!
Paul: And I'm Hindu! I mean, come on!
Brad: Seriously.

They've oldified Brad's mom. Good on them. I'm sure this Kapton family scene is a tedious recap of this stupid story. Sometimes the deaf have it good, no?

Brad: Phew!
Victoria: Yeah.
Brad's mom: Oy!
Colleen: The WMDs are in our garage, officer!
Abby: I hate you all.

Brad: Gibbergibberwho?
JT: Gibbergibberwha?
[handshake]

Holy shit, look at Sharon's hair. It's completely different lengths. No seriously. That's weird.

Phyllis is back and no fatter than before. Is the baby growing in her ass?

Gloria looks like a wet dog. Oh, this doesn't look good. The doctor's saying something not...good. Oh no, here comes Gloria, she's about to speak. I'm covering my ears and I can't heat the bitch. That's an issue.

Gloria: I'M MRS. JOHN ABBOTT, JOHN WON'T DIE, HE'LL MULTIPLY! I'M MRS. JOHN ABBOTT, MISSUS JOHN ABBOTT, MADAME ABBOTT, LADY ABBOTT, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Colleen: Oh my God, Billy, were you in a bar fight? Why is your face all swollen?

I'll say this for NuPugFacedBilly, he's got the Abbott family stinkface down, the one his brother and sister have perfected over the years.

Abby: Grandpa's dying?
Ashley: Well, we don't know, sweetheart.
Abby: It's okay if he does.
Ashley: Huh?
Abby: We can make him better. Stronger. Faster.

Man does Victoria Rowell know how to keep the puppies in check. And I'm not talking about Zapato. Heeeeeeeey, Lily, you forgot to change out of your nightgown.

Phyllis and Nick--only a week long respite from them and their schmoopiness? Spare me.

And I can't watch anymore. It's no fun if I can't hear these selfish pricks go on and on about themselves.

Better luck tomorrow. SIGH.

4 comments:

Pandora said...

No closed captions, Darn?

Seriously, though, your version was better than the original.

Darn said...

I feel so bad. The lack of sound just killed my creative juices. I dunno.

It is funny the things you notice with no sound, like Sharon's choppy hair and weave which I swear I never noticed before even though I read all the comments.

And Gloria's twitchy eye, my God, it should have a name in the credits.

jfdb said...

I know! At first I was going to say that God did you a favor, but then you have to actually look at them instead of focussing on the shit that comes out of their mouths...which is probably way worse.

I mean, right there, you've got JT, Paul, Glo, Colleen and Sharin, each have their own brand of annoying/disturbing visual qualities.

But yeah, Glo takes the cake(hole) I really wish she would just work herself into spontaneous combustion and die. Die, Gloria, die!

smartyshorts said...

As much as Brad claims to care for Sharon, he just made it impossible for her to get any help. Any counseling for her PTSD.
Good job Beorge. Good Job. Maybe Sharon can start hallucinating and kill Gloria. Or maybe neil. Ok, maybe I don't want Neil to actually die. Just Either Shut Up or Put up, Fool.