Y&R - The Wiz
[Victor goes into seizures at the farm and is soon unconscious, he awakens in a place shrouded in darkness]
Victor: Hope...Hope, are you there?
[A voice in the darkness answers]
Naw, she ain't here.
Victor: Who, who is that?
Nunya.
Victor: Nunya, whoisthisNunya?
Nunya bizness! HAHA!
Victor: Where is Hope, what have you done with Hope?!
[A figure imerges through the overarching dark, he lumbers forward]
Rick James: Brother, you dead or high but that bitch ain't here!
Victor: RickJames? Didyounotdie?
Rick James: Maybe. Who wants to know? Don't touch me!
Victor: Iamsoconfused. LastIrecallIwasshuckingcornwithmybeautifulHope!
Rick James: You know the last thing I remember? Sniffing some pancake mix off a Mary Jane girl. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Victor: Idonottakedrugs!
Rick James: Yeah and I didn't stab that bitch 28 times, what's one got to do with the other? Listen man, listen. Listen. Listen. What was I saying?
Victor: Idon'tknow.
Rick James: Oh, yeah. I seen't your wife. She got some tig ole bitties. She keep swinging those titties around and Zapato's gonna take a bite. Lemme tell ya!
Victor: Zapato would never!
[Another voice calls out from the dark]
Rick! RIIIIICK! Rick, where you at?!
Rick James: Baby girl, I'm over here! Talking to this freak. Superfreaky! OW! Gotta let the kids know who I am, see?
Janis Joplin: Riiiiick, baby, you can't be leaving me all alone!
Rick James: Sorry, Janie but we got a visitor!
Janis: WHAT? WHO ARE YOU? YOU STAY AWAY! Woo! [Janis plops on the ground] Have a seat! What's your name? Where ya from? You got any money? YOU GOT ANY MONEY ON YA?!
Victor: I am soconfused.
Rick James: Janie, you sitting on my sandwich.
Janis: I DON'T EAT HAM! YOU KNOW I DON'T! I'M HUNGRY!
Rick James: NEITHER DO I! LET GO!
Rick James: Sorry, Janie but we got a visitor!
Janis: WHAT? WHO ARE YOU? YOU STAY AWAY! Woo! [Janis plops on the ground] Have a seat! What's your name? Where ya from? You got any money? YOU GOT ANY MONEY ON YA?!
Victor: I am soconfused.
Rick James: Janie, you sitting on my sandwich.
Janis: I DON'T EAT HAM! YOU KNOW I DON'T! I'M HUNGRY!
Rick James: NEITHER DO I! LET GO!
[The two proceed to tussle over a pastrami on rye]
Victor: I--Iwanttogohome.
Rick James: Sucker, you always had the power to go home. Have a hit. A hit of love. Naw, a hit of the pipe. Good shit! Mystical shit! Dalai said it was okay!
Victor: Icannotdodrugs!
Rick James: Bitch please, listen, listen, just say "There's no place like home, there's no place like home...".
Victor: There'snoplacelikeho--
[Rick knocks Victor in the head with a lead pipe, he falls to the ground unconscious yet again]
Rick James: He thought I meant drugs, old fool.
Janis: THIS IS A GOOD SANDWICH! WANT SOME?
Rick James: Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Janis: THIS IS A GOOD SANDWICH! WANT SOME?
Rick James: Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
7 comments:
'I'm RickJamesBITCH!'
How did you write that whole thing without using it, I marvel at your talent.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
SLAP!
How did you write that whole thing without using it, I marvel at your talent.
Actual physical restraint. I had someone tie my hands whenever I got tempted.
Now that I think about it I should have had Victor take a hit and then say it exactly as you wrote it, "I'mRickJamesBITCH! Hohoho, Zapato, yougottotrythisshit!"
That's some funny shyt! You know I heard reading your blog while high.. it becomes infinite times more funny. That's like a whole lot of funny. It's funnier! Not that I'd know that from personal experience, or anything. I'm just sayin' what I heard. Ya dig?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Yeah, the pronunciation is too perfect.
Victor: I'mRickJamesBITCH
Rick James: No, dawg. I'm Rick James. Fool, back up off that shit. I'm telling you. LAY OFF. Your mind ain't gonna come back now, you hear?
Victor: I'msorrybutwho'sthefoolnow?Thatisright,yourmother. I'mRickJamesBITCH!
Rick James: Oh, I know you did not just say something bout my momma. Janis, you best collect your friend, before me and gramps take a walk. I don't believe this shit!
HEHEHE! Victor doing Rick James speak? GENIUS! Dammit, that's what I shoulda done!
"Thatisright,yourmother." I am ROLLING!
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